RUNNERS
Under the street lights
Coach Carvey loops the streets at night A
pparently the Earth has rotated once again and it is now dark at 5pm. My favourite run, a rolling dirt road along a river has no light source, other than the occasional full moon. My knees, hips and ankles want a soft surface but
River Road is out of the question. I have calculated a 99% chance that if I attempt this run in the dark I would plough right into a tree, roll down an embankment and splash directly into the frigid Housatonic River!
I need a lighted and safe course, hence the need for
a street loop. In my case a 1200 meter lap around my home town. New Milford is a small and quaint New England
village, equipped with a host of powerful and ornate street lights. It is these glowing orbs that make this night street loop possible. My running partner, Peter, and I start our lap on the
town green. This 400 meter by 50 meter patch of turf boasts a beautiful white gazebo and small green World War Two army tank. We run past a bank and a toy store but it’s the
wonderful smell emanating from the Chinese take out that reminds me it is indeed dinner time. My stomach asks me what the hell I am doing out here? I tell it to shut up. I have just declared victory over my first challenge. We make the first of four right turns in front of a
remain. These restaurants are responsible for my next great challenge. I must avoid running straight into a bloated New Milfordite waddling down the sidewalk after feasting on fat in all its various forms. We run past a dimly lit dining room that never has
more than a few of its tables occupied and wonder if it will still be here next winter. I feel a bit like a Mobile Jimmy Stewart from Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’. I have become a voyeur. We must survive two more hurdles and the next one is the Cloud of Death. Smoking is no longer allowed in bars and so we are often confronted by a couple of drunks standing on the sidewalk. These barflies are sucking on coffin nails and expelling toxic gas right in our path! I implement my ‘Don’t breath in nicotine fumes’ technique. This requires that I hold my breath and increase my pace to well under seven minutes per mile!
I feel a bit like a Mobile Jimmy Stewart from Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’.
large corner restaurant with many windows but few customers. Some of the patrons look up from their meals to see a couple of bundled up old fools shuffling down the sidewalk. Next up is the lake of Ice! This corner is a dirt patch that doesn’t get plowed during the winter. I immediately implement my, ‘don’t slip and break your butt,’ technique. This requires that I shorten my stride and stick my arms out for balance. After surviving the great New Milford Glacier, we
enjoy a short downhill and make our second right turn through an auto repair shop. The mechanics don’t seem to mind our trespass as they are working inside to keep warm. We turn down historic Railroad Street. One Hundred
years ago passengers would debark here and be greeted by a choice of places to eat and shop. Nowadays railroad cars are rare but the eateries
Our journey is almost over but we must complete the Milford Mountain, a 300 meter behemoth. It’s a sneaky little monster that always kicks our ass, partly because of the ten pounds of clothes we must carry to the top. The pain this last challenge creates is somewhat lessened by the comical sight of New Milford housewives sitting in a hair salon with giant dryers sitting on their heads. Our first lap now complete, we pause to stretch and then begin 3-4 more laps. I feel life is what you make it. We have taken a potentially boring run and turned it into an adventure, especially with 58 year old hamstrings! I have written a screen play about this nocturnal
navigation. It is titled “Indiana Steve Jones and the lap of Doom”. We are now in negotiations with Bob Redford to play yours truly.
Mysterious Coach Carvey lives in the USA and has never actually been seen by anyone. Investigate him further at:
www.carveyrunningtips.com
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