tion, and feelings of sadness, envy, and anger came up, accompanied by painful thoughts and loss of energy. Notice that I said that “it” not “you” was running this emotional program! This is the good news. The emotional program is not the “real” you, but only an egoic program developed by the “small self.” Who you really are is a much bigger self. It is by getting in touch with this bigger self that you truly are that you can experience peace and equanim- ity regardless of what happens on the outside.
Welcome Practice So what can you do if you are going
along your merry way and suddenly you are “ambushed” by one of your emotional programs for happiness? The instinctual response to “fight back” will only get you into more trouble! Trying to get rid of an emotion will only lead to frustration. Eck- hart Tolle reminds us that “whatever we resist, persists.” In fact, resistance actually strengthens whatever you are trying to overcome. Condemning yourself for hav- ing the emotion doesn’t work either. It is so easy to fall into self-criticism—saying to yourself, “I can’t believe I’m doing this again” and so on. Carl Jung, great psy- chiatrist and master of the unconscious that he is, says, “We cannot change any- thing unless we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Byron Katie says that we are called to “love what is” and that whatever is happening is hap- pening “for us.” And so the first thing step to emotional freedom is to accept what is
happening now. Between the time of the triggering
event and the full scale launching of your emotional program for happiness, there is a small opening, a window of opportunity. In this window of opportunity is your chance to make a free choice. In the an- cient language on this topic, this is called “waking up.” When we are run our emo- tional program, and tell ourselves a story about what it means, we have fallen asleep to ourselves, to what is really happening, and to the present moment itself. Once we realize that we have mistaken this program for what is truly real and identified with it, then there is the possibility of change. When we welcome life as it is, it helps
us to dis-identify with our egoic programs for happiness, get out of our own way, and make a shift from the “small self” to the “big self.” Doing this is both simple and difficult. To be successful, we need to find a way to come into the present moment, embrace what is happening in the present moment, and then let go of our attach- ments, aversions, and stories from the past and future that are getting in the way of our present happiness. There is a medita- tion practice for everyday life that helps us to do all of these things. It is called the Welcome Practice. Are you ready to try it? There are only three simple steps
1. Listen to your body What are the sensations happening in
your body right now? If fear is present, what is the sensation of fear? Is your mouth dry? Is your breathing shallow? If you are angry, notice how anger manifests in you.
Is your heart pumping fast? Do you fee flushed and agitated? Are you worried? How are you experiencing the sensation of worry? Where in your body do you feel tense and tight? Do you have butterflies in your stomach? If sadness is present, do you have a sinking feeling in your chest? Does your heart ache? This step is all about sensation, and not about thinking. It is very important in this phase of the process especially to avoid any temptation to psychoanalyze yourself or the emotion you are experienc- ing. Analyzing yourself only sinks you deeper into the grip of whatever emotion happens to be running wild in you at the moment. It brings you out of your body, into your head, and dissociates you from simply being present. Focus your awareness as completely
as you can on the sensations you experi- ence in your body. It is easy to want to rush through this part. The painful emotion is like a splinter in your finger. It seems very counterintuitive to focus the pain when all you want to do is take it out! You will feel tempted to rush on to the next step. Dis- cipline yourself to take a generous amount of time in this phase. If you rush into the next two phases without being fully grounded in your body, the practice will be less effective.
2. Welcome Now that you have attended to the discomforts of what is happening in your body, it is time to do the next counterin- tuitive thing—welcome the emotion! Simply say to yourself with kindness, “Welcome fear” (or whatever the emotion is)…“Welcome fear”… Keeping up this gentle litany of wel-
coming for as long as it feels right to do so. If you are experiencing physical pain, you would do the same, gently repeating “Welcome pain,”
Common sense will try to tell you that the emotion is the problem and that you are crazy to welcome it! But the truth is that by creating an inner atmosphere of hospitality--embracing the emotion you have been defending yourself against, or running from--you are actually disarming it, removing its power to hurt you, or to kick you out of the present moment. Don’t give in to the temptation and
walk awayl Try this new thing, and watch for what happens. But remember that what you are welcoming is the emotion—the physical and psychological content of the
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