INDULGENCES outrageous by jizzona straynger
make it up for GayDays, to mark the birthday of the “Brother Boy” of our group, Dwayne Owens. With that many gay boys running around, one thing is for sure, there’s never any shortage of birthday spankings! Speaking of birthdays, I’m on the dawn of a new decade. I know, I know, it’s hard to
believe, but I will be saying farewell, adieu, despedida to my 20s and hello 30s! Now, before I go all Dr. Phil on your ass, I want to say I truly am looking forward to hopefully the best years of my life before me. I do, however, have some reservations about rock- ing the big 3-0. Doing a little research on turning 30, I came across a book titled, Book of Ages: 30. The concept, it makes you feel both great and horrible about turning 30. The book recounts tons of stats, some which made me think I was way ahead of the
curve and the rest that made me think, “Heck! Bill Gates made $234 million at 30!” For those of you in the same boat, or rapidly approaching your fourth decade of your
life, let me share with you a few of my thoughts of happiness and self-loathing this book provided:
ADVENTURES JIZZONA STRAYNGER’S
oodles, I’ve missed you so! I hope you had a SPOOKTACULAR October and Halloween, and maybe even got yourselves a bit of Halloweenie! They say it’s just like candy. I had an absolutely fabulous October—as I have men- tioned, fall and winter are my most favorite seasons of the entire year. I love
the cool, crisp air, delicious fall-flavored coffees and of course the two biggest holidays of the year, for eating that is! The best part of the season, is that it’s perfect for cuddling, especially for those of you who experience real winter weather. Have you found your cuddle buddy yet? I’m still accepting applications. October was jam-packed with spectacular events that kept my social schedule full.
I experienced THE PRIDE of the south for the first time, in Atlanta. I think I’ve been to more Pride festivals this year than my entire life combined and I LOVED it! Halloween in New Orleans, CRAZY! And of course another great GayDays Anaheim! Of course October marked the official start of fall and what has become an O.C. tradi-
tion with GayDays Anaheim. Did you make it?! It was fabulous. My favorite event is the kickoff party Wonderland at the Jazz Kitchen in Downtown Disney. This year, hottie patottie and Oscar winner Dustin Lance Black was in the house. With all that sexy hair, who needs talent? Luckily for Dustin, he has both! Of course from there, the party was off and the weekend on a roll. I was joined by my friends from San Diego, who always
1. 96 percent of gay people realize they’re gay by age 30. For our straight readers out there, it’s highly unlikely that you’re going to wake up one day and go, “Gay-Gasp! Ohhh! That’s why I’ve seenSteel Magnolias19 times!” 2. One out of 33 men and one out of 25 women are virgins at the age of 30. The conclusion I draw here is that coming from a Pentecostal background where we save our cherry for marriage, people who are still virgins at 30 are virgins due to the Worth the Wait movement. 3. 30 is the average age of retirement for NFL players and the modal age of death for people living within the city inLogan’s Run. Ain’t dat a bitch?!! 4. The most common way to die at age 30 is by accident. 29 percent of people who die at 30 are in an accidents, 12 percent suicide, homicide and cancer tied at 10 percent, and finally heart disease at seven percent. Or, according to the certified a-holes who created Wii Fit, 100 percent die because they have a skewed center of balance, no joke! 5. The odds you’ll make it to your late 30s are 99,003 out of 100,000! That’s pretty good all things considered. Basically, come November 15, 2021, I’ll be back here shar- ing some crazy stats on turning 40. Lawd help us all!
With that, I hope to see some of you out and about in November! I’ll be making the
birthday rounds from San Diego to West Hollywood! I’ve got a couple events planned to mark my 30th. So you can see where you can buy me a birthday drink (or four), look on my calendar of events at
jizzona.com! FYI—due to recent studies on stroking out from Diet Coke, I no longer accept Vodka Diets. However, a heavy pour of vodka with any fruit juice is acceptable. I kid, I kid… no, really. I’m excited to announce that I’ve joined up with Bedlam Presents (check them out on
Facebook) to host some exciting new shows from Atlanta, New York and soon to be Los Angeles! Stay tuned for some really exciting news, as California hasn’t seen anything like Bedlam! Well folks, that’s a wrap! No matter what your thoughts are on Thanksgiving, Johnny
Carson summed up best, “Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thou- sands of miles to be with people they only see once a year—and then discover once a year is way too often.” I hope whether you get your turkey stuffed or your kitty punched, you have a super-fab Thanksgiving regardless of any troubles your family may cause! Stay smart and beautifulRage readers! I’ll be back next month when I’ll be ho-in’ it up for the Holidays!
XOXO! Jizzona Follow me on twitter @jizzona,
facebook.com/jizzona, and online at
jizzona.com.
Be sure to sign up for The Rage Monthly’s e-blast to stay connected with all that is going on in O.C./L.A. at
ragemonthly.com !
photography by Dennis Covey
denniscoveyart.com
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RAGE monthly | NOVEMBER 2011
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