Advice Health
What do you think of streaming? My daughter has been at quite a laid back prep school, but I would like to see her potential fully used and am thinking about moving her to a more academic school where “setting” is normal. Olivia, York
Rhys Johnston says: Streaming or setting are common methods used to cater for a range of abilities within a class. It is often the case where classes of the same year group are split into sets of ability, usually higher, middle and lower-achieving groups. Tis is an acceptable method used to extend those children at the top who thrive on challenge, and the extension of a given task. While those who are in the middle and bottom set will benefit from smaller class teaching and a more focused approach in the foundations of the particular subject. If your daughter was to be placed into
a lower set, then you must look at the advantages of this as a means of supporting any weaknesses that she may have. Remember that there is the scope to move between sets if your daughter improves. Tink carefully about changing schools. You may be moving to a school that has a higher academic selection process, and in turn, it may be too challenging for your daughter.
My nine-year-old daughter reacts very badly to reports of distressing world events such as poverty and famine in Africa. How can I help her to accept that bad things happen in the world and to not be overly sensitive about them? Miranda, London
Victoria Lambert says: I understand your concerns for your child’s wellbeing but why don’t you watch Newsround or, even, the Six O’Clock News together and talk through her worries with her. Tis is so much more proactive than leaving her to fantasise about world suffering. You really need to respect her intelligence, and be honest with her and admit that awful things do happen in life.
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My child has started swearing to quite an alarming degree. Given that he is nine, I am not sure he understands what he is saying but there is no doubt that any attempt to confront the issue inflames the problem. His teachers are losing patience and warning that he will not be welcome back after half term if we cannot sort the issue out. Tessa, Monmouthshire
Pete Cohen says: When children behave badly, it is usually to seek attention. Often they don’t care if they get hugged or shouted at – as long as they get noticed. You need to make it clear that the swearing is unacceptable, but then stop reacting to it. When he realises you’re not responding, the swearing should die down. Go out of your way to notice the good stuff he is doing. Give him more “quality time” – and play together. If you engage
should I advise her to keep it as a hobby? Diana, east London
Stephen Threlfall says: First of all, and bearing in mind your daughter’s age, and her current estimated standard, I would advise her not to make any hard-and-fast choices about her career, but rather to nurture the musical enthusiasm that she is clearly showing. For example, here at Chetham’s, we offer year-round advice and musical sessions. Aural, as well as instrumental feedback is given and suggestions of vocational courses can be made which allow growing musicians to immerse themselves in their chosen particular musical area. It is important to remember that you are helping your child to develop lifelong skills in a language which is shared by everyone, and that also musicians of today can utilise their skills in a much more varied manner in the music industry than in many other professions.
My children are both quite active: my daughter is keen on ballet and my son is mad about rugby. While I am more than happy to encourage them, I am concerned that our family is not a traditionally sporty one. Both my husband and I are on the slighter side, and not very fit. Do genetics really matter? Or should I steer them to sports where size is not so crucial? Janie, Southampton
with children who are being naughty, they’ll become more grounded, feel loved and behaviour will improve automatically.
My 12-year-old daughter loves music and plays very well on guitar and piano. She would like to be a professional musician, and has achieved grade 4 and 5 on each so far. How do I know if she is good enough to follow this dream, or
Roger Love says: Te nurture versus nature debate is one that continues to rage, especially in elite sport. But don’t get bogged down in it. A look at the shapes of runners in the London Marathon reveals that purposeful practice is the key to success not genes. Let your children do what they enjoy – and reassure them that hard work will pay dividends. Why not use their new- found love of sport and dancing to kick-start you into improving your own fitness.
Our First Eleven panelists invite you to email your questions to:
editor@firstelevenmagazine.co.uk
Autumn 2011 FirstEleven 61
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