SEnine
Shed Load of Money Being
a practical countr yman,
Herbaceous has never had much time for the fineries of artistic appreciation.
He reserves the greatest scorn for those peddlers of modern art, which he puts under the general umbrella of ‘con men in smocks’.
Under this heading comes the pile of bricks which once took pride of place at the Tate Gallery and the bloke who makes a handsome living from chopping animals in half.
In truth, this scorn really derives from envy. Much of this work he considers he could probably do himself, yet some people are banking millions from it.
Pursuing this theme like a dog after a rabbit, Herbaceous decided to take it one step further by conducting a feasibility study.
The first one he decided to choose came to an unceremonious ending at the hands of Mrs Herbaceous, who quickly worked out what was happening and put a stop to it.
Perhaps it was the £150,000 price tag
Mr Maidment's gold medal winning entry put the final artwork onto the market.
Some years ago, Herbaceous gained free entry to the Chelsea Flower Show and one exhibit made a very powerful effect on him. A cunning garden designer had decided to re-construct a derelict greenhouse and shed on site, which had belonged to an old retainer ‘Mr Maidment’. It took the show by storm, set against the pristine plots, and won a ‘Gold’.
Ever since, Herbaceous has been studiously neglecting his shed, which
Herbs Shed, just £200,000.00 The Family Business that still offers a personal service W. UDEN & SONS LTD
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Never stop trying 39
that the original attracted but by the time the Herbaceous conjugal bed started to head the way of Tracey Emin’s, the Hoover and dustpan were out.
His second project, however, he has accomplished and he now wishes to
HERBACEOUS
now leans at an alarming angle and is held up only by a vigorous climbing rose. Two of the windows are boarded up and the bitumen roof contains numerous patches.
The shambolic
innards make Ms Emin’s bed look like a showhouse, with fertiliser, bird seeds and rotting bulbs strewn at random.
At last the time has come and it’s ready.
Original work of art by a member of the OBA (Old British Artists). 'My Shed' by Herbaceous (reserve price £200,000.00 collect by appointment)
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