a lot more respect…
..and they have done it by being more respectable! The other area that I believe is important when it comes to earning respect from kids is the way we respond when they make a poor choice, mess up, or make a mistake. So often as parents we react with anger in these cases because we want to make sure the kid understands just how bad a decision they made and we really want to make sure they don’t do it again. But when we react with anger to their mess ups, it only creates a defensive response in them and they don’t learn as much from their mistake (and isn’t that the way we all learn the most….from our mistakes?) Instead, if a parent reacts calmly yet allows the consequence of the teen’s mistake to stand, (teen has a fender bender…parent remains calm while having teen pay deductible and take the car in to be repaired, etc.) the teen learns a valuable lesson. And because the parent reacted calmly, the kid has respect for the parent. Also, when a child knows his parent will likely not fly off the handle when they make a bad decision, they are much more comfortable confiding in the parent. No one wants to go to someone after they have made a mistake and have that person rub salt into their wound! I truly believe that as parents, we get the respect we deserve. It is up to us be respect-able. And I believe two of the most important ways we need to go about this is by never arguing with our kids (you have no need to defend your decisions with them!) and by not acting like crazy people when they make mistakes. I hope you find these techniques helpful. Happy Parenting!!
Amy Egan, LLC
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North Texas Kids • February 2011 •
www.NorthTexasKids.com 15
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