A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.


The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.


She gives the blonde mortician a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'


The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her de- light, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.


She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank cheque.


There's no charge,' she says. No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.


Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wear- ing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'


'So I just switched the heads.' BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!


I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, '13...13...13'. The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick. Then they all started shouting '14...14...14'.


Thanks to all members who contributed Jokes, Especially Lew Bekkers who sends hundreds


30


These days about half the stuff in


my shopping cart says, 'For fast relief.


THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget


the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.


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