In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, 'You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, 'Yes!' And Woman said, 'I'll have one too with chocolate chips'. And lo they gained 10 pounds. And God created the healthy yoghurt that woman might keep the figure that man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and com- bined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14. So God said, 'Try my fresh green salad'. And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and gar- lic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said 'I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them'. And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter, and Man's cholesterol went through the roof. Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep- fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his
Man put on more
those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote not have to toil changing the channels. laughed and cried before the flickering
stretch jogging suits. Then God gave lean beef so still satisfy his appe- And Satan cre- Then Satan said size 'em'. And Sa-
tite.
ated McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. 'You want fries with that?' and Man replied, 'Yes, and super tan said, 'It is good.' And Man and Woman went into cardiac ar-
rest. God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then ........... Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.
THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart at- tacks than us
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 23
Children might lose control so Man would
And Man and Woman light and started wearing
that Man might consume fewer calories and
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