Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure
I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind,
can't hear anything quieter than a jet take 40 different medications that
make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts
Have bouts with dementia, Have poor
circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.
The nice thing about
being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and
told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,
she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.
'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
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