Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:


'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked. She simply replied, 'No peer pressure


I've sure gotten old!


I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,


new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes I'm half blind,


engine,


can't hear anything quieter than a jet take 40 different medications that


make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts


Have bouts with dementia, Have poor


circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.


Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends But, thank God,


I still have my driver's license.


26


The nice thing about


being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and


told her preacher she had two final requests.


First, she wanted to be cremated, and second,


she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.


'Wal-Mart?' the preacher exclaimed.


'Why Wal-Mart?'


'Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week'


I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.


I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.


I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,


by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.


Page 1  |  Page 2  |  Page 3  |  Page 4  |  Page 5  |  Page 6  |  Page 7  |  Page 8  |  Page 9  |  Page 10  |  Page 11  |  Page 12  |  Page 13  |  Page 14  |  Page 15  |  Page 16  |  Page 17  |  Page 18  |  Page 19  |  Page 20  |  Page 21  |  Page 22  |  Page 23  |  Page 24  |  Page 25  |  Page 26  |  Page 27  |  Page 28  |  Page 29  |  Page 30  |  Page 31  |  Page 32  |  Page 33  |  Page 34  |  Page 35