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instruction on how to improve your resume, employment- seeking tips, networking opportunities and encouragement.

7. Consider starting your own business. There’s financing available if you qualify. Otherwise, find a niche in the market and look for investors. Better yet, find something you can do that doesn’t require a lot of start-up capital.

8. Change professions. Are the possibilities all dried up in your field? Go back to school for training in a more lucrative area. There’s lots of funding available whether it’s student loans or grants from the government.

9. Look for work in other locations. Maybe the idea is not appealing of finding a job in a city where the winters are 40 below or a country where meat and potatoes are not the main diet. But, hey, if they’re where the opportunities are, then that’s where you’re gonna go.

10. Start a business or get a job using social media. Now is not the time to be a neo-Luddite, adverse to technology. Get with the program and learn all about how to promote yourself or make money with a website, on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Wordpress or Hub Pages.

11. Take advantage of the underground economy. This sounds like it could have some...risky possibilities if you decide to go there. On the other hand, there’s lots of legit but under-the-table work available if you have a good network and let it be known you are willing and able.

12. Become a busker, clown or street performer. You can play the violin, put on some white face or create a mime act. Just make sure you perform in

legal places that are not in front of the liquor store.

13. Join an intentional community or ashram. If you behave yourself and contribute your labour (as well as your devotion to the cause), you’ll get fed, supported and possibly enlightened.

14. Do the E-Bay and flea market thing. Sell everything from high end collectibles all the way down to junk.

15. Find a sugar mommy or daddy. Lose some weight, clean yourself up and learn to be charming. Hang out at bars and on plentyoffish and meet someone with an income. Trust me, they’re out there to feel sorry for you and help you out.

16. If all else fails, consider declaring bankruptcy. So you’ll lose your credit rating and your credit card. But you’ll be able to start all over again on a pay-as-you-go basis.

So what has happened to my unemployed friends?

Ned is thriving in the underground economy, having moved into the lucrative field of hydroponics. He just bought a new motorcycle.

Timothy, after a six-month stint with a sugar mama, has moved back home with his mother and is looking for work in Korea as an ESL teacher.

Mike is inhabiting his parents’ basement, has declared bankruptcy, and is trying to become a social media writer. He’s sure the Google ads he puts on his Hub pages will earn him many dollars shortly.

by Dona Sturmanis

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