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109 Preston New Road, Blackburn, Lancashire. BB2 6BJ

4. 3rd Portugal. 4th Soviet Union

YtÇàtáà|v byyxÜá bÇ TÄÄ VtÜÑxàá 9 Uxwá

398 Blackburn Road, Accrington BB5 1SA

01254 383597

Tommy ( The Doc) Docherty (Doctor of Philosophy?)

“ Some teams are so negative they could be sponsored by Kodak.”

“ Somebody compared Lorenzo Amoruso to Billy McNeil, but I don’t remember Billy being Crap.”

“ I always said there was a place for the Press, they just haven’t dug it yet.

“This would cut vandalism in half by at least 75%.”

“I made a promise to the chairman that I would take Rotherham out of the Second Division. I did. I took them straight into the third.”

“Cricket is the only game where you can put on weight while you’re playing.”

Grumpy Git The nation has spoken. Well nearly two thirds of us did whilst the others either couldn’t be bothered to vote or succumbed to the huge intellectual challenge of finding the polling station. The upshot of feverish negotiations in dark recesses of Parliament is a coalition between Conservatives and Liberal Democrats. None of us is quite sure just how that will work in practice. I suspect it will mean decriminalising all drugs and then hanging those who use them, and opening up borders to all immigration whilst at the same time arming the machine gun turrets at our ports. In other words the policy similarities are, to say the least, a little hard to find. Of course, in all seriousness, we wish the new administration well. They have some tough decisions to make especially in financial affairs. For several years we have been the proverbial child in the sweet shop stuffing ourselves with nice things but knowing deep down we did not have the wherewithal to pay for it. The day of reckoning was always going to come and it is here now. Taxes will go up and spending will go down. My only hope is that we specifically target waste and excessive bureaucracy and that no section of society or our workforce is exempt from sharing this responsibility. Mind you that will not stop public sector workers on Merseyside going on strike when their demands for a fifteen per cent wage rise, retirement at forty, and a three-day working week are not met. One of the biggest challenges facing the government is to find a more representative voting system. It simply cannot be right that Labour wins more than two hundred and fifty seats based on twenty nine per cent of the vote whilst the Lib Dems with only six per cent less of the vote, ended up with less than sixty seats. Proponents of the current system argue it creates strong government. Well it didn’t this time did it? They tell us it prevents minority parties having a disproportionate interest in government. Well I’m sorry but if the BNP, as odious as they are, gain enough votes to be heard, then they are entitled to a Parliamentary voice if we are to truly call ourselves a democracy. There are lots of types of proportional representation. For me I would go for the purest system that gives us the most democratic result. Each party should list their candidates in order of preference and from the six hundred and fifty a certain number will be elected. At this stage they will be allocated a constituency to represent. After all, how many of us truly vote for a person in a General Election? I suspect sadly that we will get a watered down system that still allows domination by the three main parties. After all in my experience turkeys tend to be somewhat hesitant in voting for Christmas. Inevitably, as is the case now, a more proportional voting system will see more hung parliaments and a greater need for coalition. Is this really a bad thing? Is acting in the national interest not preferable to satisfying those who fund the major parties, often in a grubby and unaccountable fashion? Is pragmatism not infinitely preferable to parochialism and dogma? Meanwhile the Labour party has to find itself a new leader. Of course he will be young, photogenic, with a full head of hair, and will say all the right things to get elected. Let us hope for the good of the country they elect an intelligent person, with principles, to provide the rigorous but sensible opposition that our country needs. It would be really great if we could return to a time when politicians were judged on substance rather than how they looked. By policies rather than appearance. Indeed wouldn’t it be nice to have a woman to lead the party. A woman perhaps of advanced years with a working class Northern background. A Bessie Braddock type figure maybe? You see it occurred to me the other night watching those great buddies David and Nick on the step of Number Ten Downing Street. If we have Campo and Cleggy, wouldn’t it be marvellous to have Nora Batty to whip them into shape ! During the weeks and months ahead this column will keep a close eye on the progress of the government. I really hope we can deliver savings through efficiencies, and a return to common sense politics. I know two thirds of you, those who voted, will be similarly eagle-eyed whilst the others will continue in their own little worlds where mind-altering substances are very much the order of the day. Don’t worry, we will look after you just like we always did.

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