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A striker who came from Devizes Did little to help to win prizes.

When asked for a reason, He said, `Well, this season My boots were of two different sizes.'

Green at Heart- By Maria Flanagan

It’s hard to find something in your life that is easy and inexpensive that you can change to help the environment, but believe it or not there are plenty of things that you could do today! Here are 10 quick things that you could do to make a big difference to your carbon footprint but a small impact on your daily life: 1. A simple idea is to switch off lights while you aren’t in the room, you could also think of installing motion censors on outdoor lights so they are not wasted. 2. Switch to using your laptop instead of desktop computer and save three quarters of your electrical use- not forgetting to switch it off at the end of the day! 3. Switch to using cold water for your laundry, saving 80 per cent of the energy and a lot of money. 4. Hang dry clothes instead of using a dryer and save 700 pounds of CO2 a year. 5. Use public transport or share a car trip with someone else, or even buy a hybrid car. 6. Wrap an insulated blanket around your water heater and save 1,000 pounds of CO2 a year. 7. Keep your tyres inflated to improve gas mileage by 3 per cent. 8. Try cooking with a slow cooker or a toaster oven to reduce electrical use from your kitchen appliances. 9. Don’t print off as much as you do now- try emailing instead to save the amount of trees we waste. 10. Buy a bag for life; they really do make a difference and even look prettier than plastic bags from the supermarket. If you’re really creative and have too many leftover plastic bags you could always knit a reusable bag out of plastic bags.

There was a young player from Clyde Took a penalty kick that went wide.

That next match his brother , well, he missed another And now neither can get in the side.

I will never hear Church Bells ringing again without smiling. Upon hearing that her elderly Grandfather had just passed away, Katie went round to her Grandparents house to visit and comfort her 93 year old Grandmother. When she asked how her Grandfather had died, her Grandmother explained how he had suffered a heart attack while they were making love on Sunday morning. Horri f ied Katie told her Grandmother that two people of that age making love was asking for trouble. “ Oh no my dear.” answered Granny. “ Many years ago, when we recognised our advancing ages we found the best time to do it was a Sunday morning. The Church bells rang out a nice steady rhythm, nothing too strenuous, nice and slow and even, and we would keep in time with the Ding and we would keep in time with the Dong.” She paused to wipe away a tear, and said, “ He’d be with us today if that Ice Cream van hadn’t gone past.”

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Top Football Quote.

If you had to choose someone to take a penalty to save your life, Chris Waddle would come somewhere behind Long John Silver.

A husband is someone who, after taking the rubbish out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

Does anybody remember the commentator Gary Newbon ?

There’s such a fine line between defeat and losing.

Borussia Moenchengladbach 5, Borussia Dortmund 1. So Mounchengladbach win the Borussia derby.

And there’ll be more football in a moment, but first we’ve got the highlights of the Scottish League Cup Final.

5.

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