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on the farm. Also, as an older teenager, I volunteered for “full-time Christian service” at a youth revival.
ord document. There is no length limit, however; all submissions are subject to editing. Authors names will be withheld upon request.
Moving from a Scarcity to a Prosperity Mentality
By Sara Hines Martin I grew up very poor on a farm in Virginia with an alco- holic father who drank up everything. In addition, I had three older brothers who exhibited male dominance like my father. My mother modeled powerlessness before me. I received no help in developing an identity or self- esteem.
My parents’ marriage was unhappy, and I never heard the phrase “I love you” said in my home from any one person to another: neither from parent to parent nor from parent to child nor from child to parent. I seriously did not know that family members were “supposed” to love each other. To sum it up, I grew up with the “not enough” mentality: “not enough love, not enough money, not enough time.”
I also grew up in a conservative Christian denomination where I embraced the modeling (more than the teach- ings) that women should be subservient to males and to tolerate whatever came their way. The church did nothing to encourage my developing my own identity or self-esteem.
As a teenager, I concluded that “good Christians” were supposed to be poor, embracing a total scarcity mental- ity. I now see that I blended my family background with my religion, leading me to that position. My contract with God was that I was to work for him and He was to do nothing for me, mirroring my relationship with my father
I graduated from a denominational college and then from a denominational seminary with a degree in Religious Education. There I met and married a minister who embraced a severe poverty mentality. He controlled the money and expected us to drive old cars, wear old clothing and would allow me far less money for grocer- ies than was reasonable. Mind you, I called myself “The Frugality Queen,” so my budget was minimal. I always tithed and often gave more than that.
We went to the mission field in the Caribbean, a thor- oughly unhappy experience for me; yet I didn’t have the courage to leave. The marriage soured, yet I didn’t have the courage to leave that either.
As I lived in that environment, I began to change and to believe that God supported my having money if I worked for it (and I did that!) Studying Clinical Pastoral Education during a furlough year from the mission field (a life changing experience!) showed me that it was okay to be good to myself. My sense of identity and my self-esteem grew.
That personal growth led to my having the courage to defy the rules I had learned from my family and church, and I finally left my husband. I got a master’s degree in counseling; opened my counseling office; wrote two successful books and started a new life.
Three years ago, I attended my first conference on the subject of developing a prosperity mentality. What a revelation! I now have a new contract with God: He wants me to have PLENTY! Plenty of love, time and money. My life turned around even more at that point. I still see a therapist who supports me in feeling com- fortable with having wealth.
I’ve taken a pledge: I’ll never say “I can’t afford that” again. During these economic downtimes, I eat out more often and do things to create a flow, such as having my car hand-washed rather than drive through the $3 car- wash. As money comes in to me, I pass it on to others.
To paraphrase the famous saying, “I’ve had a scarcity mentality, and now I have a prosperity mentality, and a prosperity mentality is better.”
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