Herb the 0at humor
Hi all you Cats and Kittens out there, it’s that time again; the once a month Herb The Cat column. It seems that some of my many fans are mildly disgruntled because I, Herb The Cat have been serious these last many months where in the past I had been humorous. So, this month I am going to be different. Notice that I did not prom- ise to be humorous, just different. These past months I have been trying to master that manifestation thing and pass my wisdom on to you so you could be a mas- ter manifester. Some of you think that humor is more important than manifesting, but boy have I got news for you! You manifest with humor. Remember I have told you over and over again “don’t worry, be happy, don’t worry, be happy”! Yes, each time you get upset and are not happy, your preferred manifestation goes in the opposite direction, not in your direction. The next important action is to meditate. The number one way to meditate is to make your mind blank and stop the “monkey mind”. George the Cat said “first of all, I have a Cat mind, not a monkey mind and my sister Cutie Kitty has had her mind blank since birth, but all she has ever manifested is a bunch of howling cats wanting to take her out”!
Do you Cats out there see what I am fighting? How absurd! How ridiculous! I guess it’s a matter of your pri- orities and what you want out of life. I want a nice warm bed, someone to scratch behind my ears, wet food and spring water. Yes, I do want to know how the universe works because I know that the moon is not made out of green cheese or any other cheese for that matter. It’s made out of dirt, dust, alien bases secretly hidden from our eyes and is not worth howling at like that stupid dog next door does. Why do humans throw old shoes at Cats when they howl, but give a dog a bone when he howls at the moon? See, this life is not fair at all! I have forgiven the human for the scar he put on my right ear. After all, you don’t forgive people for their sake, it’s for you. Humans are not worth getting all riled up about; it’s better to find a window sill where the sun is shining in and curl up, or maybe lie on your back and sprawl out catching all the sun on your entire belly. Tomorrow I am giving a “sprawling party” at my house. 2:00 pm, be there or be square! BYOM&S (Bring your own milk and sardines!) ps: This month I am giving a contest for the funniest Cat joke. Send your jokes to the email address below. The winner will share a tin of sardines and some of the best catnip available with me over a dish of milk by candle light.
H b Te C s a felne wi Ct u o o y ad Oal 02
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CREATIVE EXPRESSION
Poetry Corner
Becoming
Elemental
Outraged at my existence
You degreed my homelessness Yet I billowed back to earth As silk,
Palms open to the sun.
The depths below I cannot fear Remembering
I emerged from the earth Remembering
I raced across the shore To greet the lightning’s strike,
The ions of a thousand waterfalls Dancing through my veins.
by L isa Iris
Oracle 20/20 April 2010
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