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Thou shalt honor thy beer cart driver’s tip jar, and keep it full.


There were many times when I was working and the course was absolutely packed. Sunday afternoons were always crazy, and I would make rounds on the cart eight or nine times and only see a group once or twice. Often, golfers would suggest to me that they were “extremely thirsty” and wanted to see me more often during their round. If you find yourself in a situation of “extreme thirst” during a very busy day at the course, tip early and tip well. It is no surprise that beverage cart drivers keep good tabs on their best tippers. If you are on a mission to quench your undying thirst for hops, tip well right away. Suddenly, the cart girl will see you every time your drink feels light.


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Thou shalt not test tolerance levels on the golf course.


When I worked as a beer cart driver—I was often asked questions like “Is it too early to start drinking?” and “Have I had too many?” The real answer can be found if you consider whom you are playing with and the circumstances of your golf round. Playing a friendly round with your best buddies you haven’t seen since college? Bottoms up. Taking your boss out for a round to discuss that new business pro- posal? Maybe let your boss order first.


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Thou shalt not complain about the prices of beverages.


Cart attendants don’t set the prices. If we did set the prices, we would be in a position of management, not out here in the sweltering heat watching you hit eight balls into the water. Complaining to a beer cart attendant about the prices on the course is like yelling at a referee


at an NFL game. Nothing happens except the ref ignores you for the rest of the game.


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Thou shalt offer to buy a round for your group. It is just polite. Generally, the favor will be returned later in the round, and your playing partners will appreciate the gesture. Don’t be that golfer who never even offers to pay.


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Thou shalt not expect alcohol to improve a slice. It happens all the time: Someone is play- ing a bad round so they just start drink- ing. While this is completely understandable, don’t expect your score to be any lower or your wallet to be any more full at the end of the round—un- less your partner is drinking more than you. The rule of


thumb here is you shouldn’t drink and drive, let alone putt.


Thou shalt not disclose too much personal information.


As a dedicated employee and a generally nice beer cart attendant, I worked hard to pro- vide customers with a great experience. This, however, does not mean we are friends. Please do not take a smile and casual interest in your current round of golf as an invita- tion to tell me your entire life story, the crazy things you got into last night, or what problems


Let me start from the beginning...


you are having with your love life. A beer cart is not a shrink’s couch on wheels. It is absolutely amazing looking back on some of the things people were willing to tell me purely because I happened to be on a golf course with a cart full of beer. It is one thing to tell me about your birdie on the last hole. It’s an entirely differ- ent thing to tell me the intimate details of your most recent doctor’s appointment.


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Thou shalt not covet thy beer cart driver.


We have probably heard every line in the book, and we are really just trying to do our job. I can’t remem- ber the last time in beer-cart driver history that a pick-up line has been successful— and please don’t take that as a challenge. If you honestly cannot resist making a comment regarding a person’s appearance, do your best to be subtle and please—wait until I have moved on to the next group (at least a hole away).


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until proven otherwise. I probably know more about the game of golf than you think. It might be safe to assume that a girl working a beer cart got the job because her dad is a member. A safer bet would be that she enjoys the game of golf and she isn’t completely incompetent on a course. Until proven otherwise, please assume the


Thou shalt assume the cart driver isn’t an idiot


Thou shalt honor thy beer cart driver. Remember, she who holds the beer holds the power.


latter. One of the most upset- ting things about working as a beer cart driver was the assumption that I knew noth- ing about golf. I have played for more than half of my life and have followed the game for years. I’m not out there just because it is an easy way to make money (side note: it isn’t), and my dad got me the job (side note: he didn’t).


FALL 2013 / NCGA.ORG / 61


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