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TIPS FROM


BEER-CART DRIVER


THE


It’s 10 a.m. on a Monday at a semi-pri- vate golf club in Wisconsin during the summer


of 2009. I’m 19 years old and home from my first


year of college, working my first shift as a bev- erage cart driver at the club where I grew up playing golf. I am busy stocking the beverage cart just


outside the clubhouse with ice and beer when I first heard the phrase that would be repeated countless times for the rest of the summer: “Hey, Blondie! Toss me a cold one, wouldya?” Throughout my summer as a beer cart driv-


er, I learned a lot about amateur golf and the lives of strangers who never bothered to learn anything more about me than my hair color. In all reality, golf isn’t as


serious as everybody as- sumes. You can be the worst golfer in the world and still enjoy playing. This is partly because beer and golf seems to be the perfect drinking


game. But, beware: What happens on the golf course doesn’t stay on the golf course. As I recall some of the most memorable mo-


ments in my stint as a beer cart driver, I also am able to recount common no-nos golfers make during their interactions with beer cart drivers on the course.


LINDSEY NOVITZKE is the 2013 P.J. Boatwright Intern for the communications department and an authentic Cheesehead.


Here are the Blondie’s 10 beer cart commandments. Obey these rules and the round will be better for everyone.


1


Thou shalt behave thine self.


I am driving up the fifth hole toward the tee box. The hole at this particular course tees off through a narrow chute to a long fairway. The cart path is on the right and I am cutting through the trees to get to the tee while players exit the fourth green. The course is almost dead on this particular afternoon, and the fifth tee is out in the middle of the woods. Thinking he is pulling a funny prank on his fellow competitors, I round the corner to the sight of a man with his pants around his ankles. This is just one seemingly


daily occurrence where people 60 / NCGA.ORG / FALL 2013


were completely unaware that they were not alone on the golf course. Whether it is swearing, club throwing, not raking a bunker, or showing utter disregard for your surround- ings when re- lieving yourself on the course— please, remem- ber that you are almost never


entirely alone on the course. Wearing a collared shirt and soft spikes does not give you immunity to the rules of common decency. A good rule of thumb: If you wouldn’t do it in front of your mother, don’t do it on the golf course.


A good rule of thumb: If you wouldn’t do it in front of your mother, don’t do it on the golf course.


BY LINDSEY NOVITZKE


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