][editorial HER SPACE
Heartbreak and Healing
Feeling the effects of a gut-wrenching loss? There’s science behind it.
T
he word heartbreaking gets thrown around a lot this
time of year. Just the word combination “heartbreaking loss” immediately makes me imagine post-game interviews where sweat and tears have smeared players’ eye black. (It’s worse for the players and coaches,
but writers hate the losers’ press conference too.) If you’ve ever had your
heart broken — by a game, by a person, by anything — you know it’s more than a metaphor. It’s a very real physical sensation. There’s a strange, awful flutter in the upper left quadrant of your torso. It’s the antithesis of fun pre-game butterflies in your stomach. It’s a decrepit old bat that has taken up residence in your ribcage, flapping its wings and scratching its sad claws against your innards. It is the worst. There’s a medical explanation for this phenomenon. University of Virginia psychology professor Rob Emery (no relation to the Cavaliers’ men’s lacrosse player of the same name) described the reaction of the part of the brain that regulates emotions thusly in Scientific American: “During a particularly stressful experience, the anterior cingulate cortex may respond by increasing the
activity of the vagus nerve — the nerve that starts in the brain stem and connects to the neck, chest and abdomen. When the vagus nerve is overstimulated, it can cause pain and nausea.” So there’s a nerve that runs through the center of your body that starts vibrating like a tuning fork when you experience, or even just remember, stress. That’s why you feel a pain in your chest when you recall watching what would have been the game-winner sail over the crossbar, or you feel sick to your stomach as the clock runs out before your team can rally for a win. The heartbreaking loss and its evil twin, the gut-wrenching loss, are real things. Science!
If you’ve ever had your heart broken — by a game, by a person, by anything — you know it’s more than a metaphor. It’s a very real physical sensation.
22 LACROSSE MAGAZINE August 2013>>
Moving beyond a tough loss is hard. Knowing that it’s partially physical can help. Humans just aren’t built to experience high levels of stress indefinitely, so as sharpness of the memory fades, the physical reaction becomes less intense. (Ask any goalie about having a short memory. It’s a good lesson for field players, too.) Of course, most athletes can tell you they have a few bad games that stick with them years and decades later. But even if time doesn’t heal all wounds, it helps a lot. It’s less like a magical cure-all tonic that zaps pain away, more like a well-qualified physical therapist who shows you how you can get back your mobility if you put in the effort.
In any case, beating yourself up will only make it worse. It’s like poking a bruise or picking at a scab. If you dwell on a bad memory, it keeps the heartbreak fresh in your mind, which gets that vagus nerve all
overstimulated. To combat this, Harriton (Pa.) coach George Dick asks his players to reflect on all their games, win or lose.
“Sometimes, you just don’t play well. You don’t have to berate them. They know how they played, and they can tell you,” Dick said. “We always give the old ‘can you look in the mirror and say you did everything you could to win’ test. And I throw myself into the next game.” That last part is key. Sitting around and waiting to feel better is only part of the solution. Examining a loss and using it to improve your game can be a powerful way to take your emotional rehab into your own hands. Ask Milton (Ga.) High senior attacker Lydia Cassada. In 2012, the Eagles lost to powerhouse Vero Beach (Fla.) 15-13. That hurt, but it fueled Cassada to make the most of her senior season in 2013.
“I used that at the wall, thinking, ‘This is Vero Beach. Can we score [in a] three- second situation?’ It really did fuel us,” Cassada said. “A loss is a great thing you can use to really get a fire underneath you.”
Did it work? Check out our
story on page 44 to find out. The 2013 season has now drawn to a close. Games were won and lost. Hearts were healed and broken. As we move into the offseason — such as it is, with year-round ball being a reality for lots of laxers — take the fall to rehab your body and your mind, and imagine what will come next spring. LM
— Clare Lochary
clochary@uslacrosse.org A Publication of US Lacrosse
©JOHN STROHSACKER
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