words. What do we mean by avoidance? Contrary to what many people may think, there’s nothing wrong with avoiding confl ict. I’ve had people tell me, “Hey Roy, why do you try so hard to avoid any kind of confl ict? I mean, you’re always easy-going and don’t seem to get upset about things that would really get my goat.” Even when I was a cop, I never let a suspect, irate citizen or inept supervisor “get my goat.” Why? Because it keeps you out of hot water — or worse. Once, when traveling with my fa-
ther as a kid, he pulled into a gas sta- tion to ask for directions. For some reason, the clerk there was having a bad day and lit into my dad. “Sure, you want directions for free, but aren’t buying any gas. Why should I help you?! Why don’t you just get out of my gas station!” (That sort of a thing.) I vividly recall being morti- fi ed; this was something new to me. Adults yelling at each other? Except, my dad didn’t yell. He was
very calm. I don’t remember what he said, but I very much recall his obvious calm demeanor; he smiled, waved, thanked the clerk and we drove off immediately. I do remember saying something like, “Are you going to let that man talk to you that way?” or words to that effect. And then I had a life-changing exchange with my dad, which frankly, affects the way I live, to this day. He explained, “Son, if you think I’m going to let that guy ruin our day, you’re wrong. It’s gener- ally better to simply avoid a fi ght and move on. Nobody gets hurt, and you’ll fi nd it’s hardly ever worth it if you stay and end up in a fi ght.” It hit me like a 2-by-4 across the
side of the head. It was okay to walk away? Nobody would think of you as a sissy? I remember sitting in the backseat thinking about it intently for a long time. Sure enough, the fi rst time I was in a situation where I had to make a decision to simply walk away or stay and duke it out over something silly, I walked away — and felt just fi ne. I always considered that my Rule
#1: avoidance. If something confron- tational comes up, and you can avoid it, do so. And let’s expand that to mean: Avoid any situation, location, conduct or poor planning that will put you into a situation likely leading to danger. Think about where you live. Is the
mere fact you live in a certain area of town putting you and your family at a higher risk factor? Is the fact your car isn’t maintained well likely to lead to a breakdown somewhere? Are you prone to leaving your door unlocked,
WWW.AMERICANHANDGUNNER.COM
Duh … easy-to-steal goodie bag, eyes down, phone in her ear … I’d say she’s in condition white, pretty much oblivious to what’s going on around her. An easy victim, if you ask me.
Uh-oh, maybe that shortcut wasn’t such a good idea after all? Avoidance of potential trouble, along with a heightened state of alertness can, and does, keep you out of problem spots.
13
IT’S NOT UP TO ANYBODY ELSE — YOU OWN IT
or your keys in the car? Do you give out your phone number to strangers? Have a Facebook page with too many personal facts on it? Do you walk dark streets back to your car after eating out, without paying attention to your surroundings? Do your kids walk home from school alone?
Oh, there’s plenty more. How about
leaving home with a cell phone only half-charged? What if you need it and you’re out of juice? Got some tools in your car but only know how to make basic repairs? Is your spare tire good? When you park at the mall, do you pay attention to your surroundings? Who
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