smooth working relationship because you’ll be “dialed in.”


Remedy: Make the time in the moment to listen or schedule a time very soon to start the conversation again.


#2 - You ignore feelings when listening.


Yes, emotions are a dicey area. And, maybe you worry that you’ll be opening up a can of worms if you bring up feelings. You’re not a therapist, after all.


I understand.


The key to avoiding feeling uncomfortable is simple. Acknowledge what your bride is feeling without judging her about it. Easy to say, harder to do, I know. Just remember you don’t have to like or agree with someone in order to support them. Your job is to help her hear back what she’s thinking. Not solve it.....yet. Saying something like,


Common Emotions People Experience Around Wed- dings


Affection Anger Annoyance Angst Apathy Anxiety Contempt Curiosity Depression Desire Despair Disappointment Disgust Empathy Envy Embarrassment Fear


WedBiz Journal


Frustration Gratitude Grief Guilt Happiness Hatred Hope Horror Hostility Jealousy Loathing Love Pity Pride Rage Regret Remorse


I can imagine how you might be feeling [frustrated, angry, sad, insert emotion here]. How are you?


Understanding the range and difference in emotions is a big help when you have a frazzled bride. Check out this list of emotions from Wikipedia. Fasci- nating, huh?


Remedy: Be more conscious


of what feelings might be at play and be will- ing to acknowledge them.


#3 - You don’t ask enough questions.


Be a little curious. Asking questions shows your interest in what your bride is saying and feeling. It takes a bit more time, true. Good news, though.


More connection= more trust.


Don’t worry so much about asking it right or saying the wrong thing. Your job is to help her speak up. As long as your intentions are good, your bride will feel your caring and understand a fumbled word to two.


Remedy: Ask questions when your intuition tells you to.


If you get stuck, try my favorites: Can you say more about that?


What are the 2 things I need to know right now about that? Being A Superhero Listener


It’s easier than you think to brush up your listening skills. In fact, reading this article is a great start. Practice giving your full attention, listening for feelings along with facts, and asking more questions- and you’ll get more out of it than you ever expected. And, so will your brides.


Dina Eisenberg, Esq, Your Contract Mensch, teaches the essentials of contracts, negotiation and conflict


management for wedding entrepreneurs at Positive- lyWed.com. You’re welcome to grab her free audio, Show Me the Money: Friendly Payment and Cancellation Ideas for Wedding Entrepreneurs at:


http://positivelywed.com/landing/show-me-money Summer 2011


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