Let me give you a hint of what might be going on underneath this situation. It’s perfectly natural to think that everything ‘out there’ is all there is to reality,” I explained. “But maybe there’s a whole lot more happening beneath that reality. We don’t perceive anything else going on because our five senses are inadequate to the task. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t occurring. What if, beneath the drama, something of a more spiritual nature was happening—same people and same events, but a totally different meaning? What if your two souls were doing the same dance but to a wholly different tune? What if the dance was about you healing? What if you could see this as an opportunity to heal and grow? That would be a very dif- ferent interpretation, would it not?”

Forgiveness Is a Three-Letter Word

This tool simply involves writing three letters to the person you feel has wronged or hurt you in some way. It works wonderfully when you are really upset about something that has just happened; it even works on something that happened a long time ago. Vent all your anger in the first letter. Hold nothing back. You can threaten vengeance of the vilest kind if it makes you feel good. Keep writing until you have nothing left to say. The process of writing this letter may cause you to shed a lot of tears—tears of rage, sadness, resent- ment, and hurt. Let them flow. Have a box of tissues beside you. If you are angry, scream into a pillow or do some physical activity to help you feel your anger. Under no circumstances mail this letter!

The next day, write another letter. This one should carry somewhat less anger and vengeance, although it still does not let the person with whom you are angry off the hook for what you believe they have done to you. It should, however, make an effort to bring com- passion, understanding, and generosity, as well as the possibility of some sort of forgiveness, into the equation. Do not mail this letter either.

The following day, write a third letter. In this one, attempt to describe a new interpretation of the situation based on the principles of Radical Forgiveness. Since this mimics the Radical Forgiveness worksheet, refer to the notes on the worksheet as signposts for your letter, but write it in your own words as best you can. This may feel like a struggle at first, but persevere. Remember, you will have to fake it for a while before you make it.

None of these letters are ever mailed—it is neither necessary nor desir- able to do so. They are designed to shift your energy, not the energy of the recipient. Venting your feelings, rather than projecting them once again onto the other person, serves as the objective. Sending the angry letter, in particular, accomplishes nothing whatsoever. Doing so will only keep the attack defense cycle going, and that will drag you deeper into the drama. Remember, as you shift your energy in the direction of Radical Forgiveness, the energy of the other person changes automati- cally. You can either keep the letters for future reference or use them in a forgiveness ritual. My personal preference lies in using the ritual of fire to transform them. Something powerful happens when you see your words turn.

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Four Steps to Forgiveness

This adaptation of a three-step process taught by Arnold Patent serves as a reminder of our power to attract the events and people we need to feel the emotions we have around a particular issue. The process takes only a few moments, but it is one that literally could save you from get- ting endlessly caught up in the drama of what is happening and going to Victimland for an extended stay!

Step One: “Look what I created!”

This first step reminds us that we are the creators of our reality. How- ever, we create circumstances for our own healing, so do not assume guilt for what happens. Being quick to judge, we often use this step as a way to beat ourselves up. We say, “Look what I have created. Oh, it’s terrible—I must be a terrible person, a spiritual failure.” Please do not fall into this trap, for if you do, you buy into the illusion.

Step Two: “I notice my judgments and love myself for having them.”

This step acknowledges that, as humans, we automatically attach a whole string of judgments, interpretations, questions, and beliefs to situations. Our task involves accepting the imperfection of our own

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