Everywhere we look—in the newspapers, on TV, and even in our own personal lives—we see examples of people who have been egregiously victimized.
We read, for example, that at least one in every five adults in America today was either physically or sexually abused as a child. TV news confirms that rape and murder are commonplace in our communities and crime against people and property is rampant everywhere. Around the world we see torture, repression, incarceration, genocide, and open warfare occur- ring on a vast scale.
Indeed, the victim archetype is deeply in- grained in all of us, and it exerts great power in the mass consciousness. For eons we have played out victimhood in every aspect of our lives, con- vincing ourselves that victim consciousness is absolutely fundamental to the human condition. The time has come to ask ourselves this ques- tion: how can we stop creating our lives this way and let go of the victim archetype as the model for how to live?
As we continue to move into the new millennium and prepare for the imminent next great leap in our spiritual evolution, it is essential that we adopt a way of living based not on fear, control, and abuse of power but on something radical.
We have ignored the lesson of genuine forgiveness that Jesus taught—that there are no victims. We straddle the fence and attempt to forgive while staying firmly committed to being victims. We have made Jesus himself the ultimate victim, and this will not move us forward in our spiritual evolution. True forgiveness must include completely letting go of victim consciousness.
My main intention is to make clear the distinction between forgiveness that maintains the victim archetype and Radical Forgiveness that frees us from it. Radical Forgiveness challenges us to fundamentally shift our perception of the world and our interpretation of what happens to us so we can stop being victims.
www.1111mag.com
A Radical Healing Story
As soon as the first opportunity for serious discussion presented itself, Jill said, “Colin, things are not good at home. Jeff and I might be splitting up.”
Despite the fact that I had noticed something wrong with my sister, this announcement surprised me. I had always thought she and Jeff were happy in their six-year marriage. Both had been married before, but this relationship had seemed strong. Jeff had three kids with his previous wife, while Jill had four. Her youngest son, Paul, was the only one still living at home.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“Well, it’s all quite bizarre, and I don’t quite know where to begin,” she replied. “Jeff is acting really strange, and I can’t stand much more of it. We’ve gotten to the point where we can’t talk to each other anymore. It’s killing me. He has totally turned away from me and says that it’s all my fault.”
The conversation continued all the next day. I began to get a picture of what might be going on between Jill and Jeff from a Radical Forgiveness standpoint but decided not to mention it—at least not right away. She was too
caught up in the drama of the situation and wouldn’t have been able to hear and understand what I had to say. Radical Forgive- ness is based on a very broad spiritual perspective that was not our shared reality when we were all still living in England. Feeling certain that both she and John were unaware of my beliefs under- lying Radical Forgiveness, I felt that the time had not yet arrived to introduce so challenging a thought as “this is perfect just the way it is—and an opportunity to heal.”
The Radical Forgiveness approach would require that my sister open up to the possibility that something beyond the obvious was happening—something that was purposeful, divinely guided, and intended for her highest good. Yet she was so committed to being the victim in the situation, that I wasn’t sure I could get her to hear an interpretation of Jeff’s behavior that would take her out of that role. Still, just as my sister began yet another repetition of what she had said the day before, I decided to intervene. Tentatively, I said, “Jill, are you willing to look at this situation differently? Would you be open to me giving you a quite different interpretation of what is happening?” She looked at me quizzically, as if she were wondering, ‘How can there possibly be another interpretation? It is how it is!’
11:11—MARCH/APRIL 2010 9
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