5 MINUTES
with DR. LAURA SCHLESSINGER
Embrace Your Fear W
hy are we afraid of fear? That is such an important question, as most of humanity spends some time in anxiety and
plain fear without being quite able to articulate what is causing it. A certain amount of fear/anxiety is totally normal and a
part of life. Without some element of fear, we would never be discerning about our environment or people. That would make us prey to whomever or whatever would like “a piece of us”! The dark hides things; the new is unknown; change
is unsettling; challenges are threatening; uncertainty is agitating; and, fi nally, making your own decisions is confusing. These reactions are normal, predictable, and universal.
Ever watch meerkats at rest? They don’t. They are always on guard, in the cutest way, checking the environment for danger. When we fear the fear, we deny
a human experience that should be embraced for the information it gives us. We can assess whether or not our level of anxiety is objective or reasonable. That is a discussion we can even have with ourselves. For example, the boss texts you to a
with your work? Have you been less attuned to your responsibilities and schedules at work? If any of these is a yes, then prepare to be willing to face the challenge and the consequences. Spend some time thinking about what you can do to remedy these possible problems. Last and not least, rely on your experiences in life with
disappointment and failure, rely on those in your life who help you cope, rely on your faith, and rely on your willingness to rise to whatever occasion will confront you. Above all, when you walk into that room do not be
defensive or act like a frightened bunny. Your boss needs to see a mature adult who faces the music with class and inner strength — depending on the music, of course. Good news is just balloons. The key to dealing with your anxiety and fears is fi rst
to acknowledge and recognize that these are human and normal experiences. Overthinking or obsessing will only result in an amplifi cation, and you will tear yourself apart. Remember to breathe and calm
spontaneous meeting. Panic can set in immediately as you wonder if you are in trouble or going to be axed. First, you remember to breathe and calm yourself
Anxiety is about fear of the future. Since there are infi nite possibilities, it is impossible to really anticipate.
down. The physiological response to fear/anxiety can include sweating, hyperventilating, palpitating, or stomach upset. Surely these reactions will ruin your day, as well as scare you even more. So, calm it down! Breathe. Take two to three minutes and breathe. Then think
about what the more reasonable possibilities are: The boss wants to ask your advice about a situation or wants to compliment you, or needs information only you might have. There might be a business issue that you are not responsible for but need to know about. Or you are in trouble and being axed. The point is that there are infi nite possibilities. Anxiety is about fear of the future. Since there are
infi nite possibilities, it is impossible to really anticipate. To some extent you have to be willing to suspend your imaginings and face a blank page. Ultimately, we do that better when we have survival plans. You don’t need such a plan for good news. You will
always need a plan for unsuspected bad news. So think. Are you aware of employee confl ict you have been experiencing? Has your personal life interfered
70 NEWSMAX MAXLIFE | AUGUST 2023
down your mind and body. Assess your situation to be able to focus on any points the boss might be presenting. That does not mean dredging up lots of negative stuff . It means that you know if there are blatant problems to be addressed. Come up with potential solutions. This way you are thinking about
repair, not destruction. Last, know that whatever does occur in that room,
you will fi nd a way to survive with the people who care about you. I watched a documentary made by Arnold
Schwarzenegger that was fascinating. At the end, he expressed some rage about people calling him a “self- made man.” He emphasized that he is not. He worked unbelievably
hard for everything he accomplished, but people helped him all along the way. For example, he lost fi rst place in a Mr. Olympia body-building contest. He was certain he would win. The failure made him actually cry. Then he asked the man who won fi rst place to help train
him. I was so impressed by that. The next year he won. The moral of that story is that any failure or loss
should be addressed as an opportunity to conquer next time if you are willing to learn how. So go into the boss’ offi ce excited for what that meeting can mean for a more dynamic future.
Listen to Dr. Laura on SiriusXM Channel 111, Mon.–Sat. 2–6pm ET, Sun. 5–9pm ET.
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