LIFE & TRENDS Valentine’s: More Than Just Roses BY ELMA AKSALIC V
alentine’s day is associated with romance and a celebration of love, but that hasn’t always been
the case. Its origin is anything but a box of chocolates or a bunch of roses. Originally known as Saint
Valentine’s Day, Feb. 14 holds tradition to both ancient Rome and the Christian faith, but in modern-day times it’s become less about religion and more about love. The day originated in the third
century honoring Valentine, a Roman saint who was martyred after helping couples get married in secret, ultimately defying the emperor at the time. This led to imprisonment and
death to any saint who followed in Valentine’s footsteps. It wasn’t until the Middle Ages
that Valentine’s Day became a romantic holiday, but has today’s society overcommercialized it, losing its real meaning? Jacqueline Olds, M.D., who serves in the psychiatric department of Massachusetts General Hospital and is on the faculty of Harvard Medical School, has been married
OLDS
for over 40 years and has studied the topic of love. Olds and her husband spent decades
analyzing the evolution and collapse of love, loneliness among couples and individuals, and finding the key to lasting relationships and marriages. Valentine’s Day, like so many other
holidays, holds different meanings for different people, but for Olds, the fantasy of being in love and its definition has led to lines being blurred when being confronted with an actual relationship. “Americans have an idea of love
that is even more idealized than many people in European countries. They have a very romantic and kind of pure
72 NEWSMAX MAXLIFE | FEBRUARY 2024
St. Valentine Kneeling in Supplication (David Teniers III, 1600s) depicts the martyred saint receiving a rosary from the Virgin Mary.
Americans have an idea of love that is even more idealized than many people
in European countries. They have a very romantic and kind of pure idea of what love should be.”
idea of what love should be. “Every now and then, their idealized
notion about love gets them into trouble. Because then when they are confronted with a real relationship —
— Jacqueline Olds, M.D.
with all its little hitches and obstacles and warts and everything — they get worried that it’s not at all like the ideal that they had been seeking.” Olds says love gives people a second
chance, an opportunity to start over or transform their lives with a new relationship. But love, apparently, is not for
everyone, she says, especially those going through a feeling of loneliness or self-doubt. “They worry that everybody else
feels loved much more thoroughly than they do. So, they don’t want to hear about love all the time.” In a society where singles want to
partner up, Olds has one piece of advice about love on this Valentine’s Day. “One of the questions they should
ask themselves is, can they imagine life without the person that they might be in love with? And if they can imagine it really well, that’s not a good sign.”
COUPLE/ROMAN SAMBORSKYI/SHUTTERSTOCK / SAINT VALENTINE/ZATLETIC©DREAMSTIME
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