around is less scary. So, when I think back to how I was when I socially transitioned, when I said “I am a woman, end of story - I am going to be on public transport; when I need a toilet, I am going to use the ladies’ loo; if I want to buy an item of clothing, I am going to go to the ladies’ changing room” – the fi rst time doing any of those things, it was always scary, but then, once I had been out once, then the next time around was less scary. T e risk was in just simply standing up in saying “T is is what I am”. And I still get people today – I can be in a shop or I can be on the phone with a service provider employee and they will call me “sir”, so when that occurs, I say “No, excuse me, it’s madam by the way” or very oſt en I have adopted the technique where if I call up someone I will always open up the conversation with introducing myself, “Hi, my name is Victoria” – sometimes it does not work, sometimes they will still come back with “sir”… I have reached the point in my life when I don’t question who I am and so in being confi dent of myself and my identity in being a woman that someone might call me “sir” or might say “What are you doing in the ladies changing room, you shouldn’t be”, I am like “Excuse me, I am sorry but no – I won’t have that”. I have reached the point in my life where I have the strength, but it takes time. To [use] another pop-reference, Neo
in the Matrix – it takes a while to get that sense of self-‘knowingness’ of who one is, and the fi rst time it can be [that] you get slapped and the slap hurts, but eventually as Neo does, the hand goes up and the bullets freeze, and Neo actually plucks the bullet out of the air and drops it. But it does not mean that the odd bullet does not get through and glance you and draw blood. It is still possible to get bruised. I believe that there will always be potential for me to get bruised. I have certainly found, when I was listening to some of the radio discussions that were occurring last autumn around the time of the deadline coming up for public comment on the Gender Recognition Act review, that some of those discussions angered me massively when there were people in a public sphere… who made statements that seem to come from a place of an unwillingness to understand. It is not even lack of understanding; there is enough information out in the world, at least here in the West, that they can’t say, “I don’t know”. But it does not seem to stop them
Context 164, August 2019
When our lives are knocked off -course, we imagine everything in them is lost, it is only the start of something new and good, Victoria Cantons, 2018, oil on linen, 180 x 150cm
from saying, “I don’t wish to understand, I don’t wish to engage, I am going to close the door on this f om my side”. And that is the thing that ends up really frustrating me. And on top of that, because they have this public platform, they are voicing things that may allow others to feel justifi ed in expressing a prejudiced viewpoint. And I don’t think that helps us as a society. I don’t think it moves us forward. If you and I have a conversation about a subject and we both speak in a very polarising fashion, we are never going to get to that common place. And that happening in the public sphere becomes like stones in a pond, so that it starts rippling out and the negativity spreads and the fear spreads and the moment you’ve got fear in the room, it’s a dangerous thing. Lizet e: For me, it just points to… when you have the privilege of fi t ing the norm, [there are so many things you do not have to think about] - walking down the street is just walking down the street, going to the
bathroom is just going to the bathroom, using a changing room is just using the changing room, you do not even have to register it as something you need to do. And that is the protection of that privilege. Context is a magazine for family therapists. I wondered whether you had any messages for those of us working in the helping professions? Victoria: I suppose in the fi rst place, if you are a health professional and you are being approached by an individual that has gender or identity issues and wants help, then them coming to you has possibly been a massive, massive step for them. Make yourself aware, educate yourself. And if someone says, “Hey, this is my issue”, you can say, “T at’s okay, we will fi nd help for you together”.
Reference Barker, M.J. (2017) The transgender moral panic.
https://www.rewriting-the-rules.com/ gender/2017-review-transgender-moral-panic/ [Accessed 10/06/19].
15
“The ‘us’ and ‘them’ situation… it’s been a humanitarian failing since the oldest time”: When one’s very sense of self is a political matter
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