How much sweeter life would be if it happened in reverse if, after decades of disappointments, you fi nally arrived at an age when you had conceded nothing, when everything was possible, Victoria Cantons, 2019, oil on linen, 170 x 140cm
– whether it’s a person trying to deal with transgender issues, or whether it is an immigrant or a person of a diff erent race… there are always going to be individuals… that will have a sense of displacement, and alienation… Without full acceptance one ends up having a sense of being an outsider and, when one is in that place, a lone-wolf survival and alienation [can set in] and [these] are very damaging things, they were certainly very damaging for me. I consider myself a very social animal… I do like company… I am not a lone wolf. [Victoria describes a period of being
married and becoming a father to her partner’s children] Victoria: It was 2003 at that point and I don’t think it is unfair of me to say of my ex-partner… the world of trans men and women was not really on their radar, so for me to come along and say this is who I think I might be, it may have seemed like a scary thing. And goodness knows I have
14
had enough conversations with other men and women in the past who have expressed similar experiences when they fi nally bite the bullet and speak their truth – they are faced with fear from the other side of the table…. [T at]’s scary … and there are parallels in all sorts of life experiences that I think people can empathise [from]… To express yourself – that may even be scary for you and you are sharing that with another individual and if they come back with “It’s okay”, or “T at’s alright, we can work it out” or “Wow, I don’t get that, but it’s alright”, that’s wonderful – you are into the territory of a problem shared is a problem halved. But if the response is “Stay away f om me, get back” or “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to hear it”… then it doesn’t do anything to make you feel bet er… it is always where “T ere is this thing about me” – it could be that this thing is “Hey, I am transgender”, or “Hey, I am pregnant” or “Hey, I lost my job” or
“Hey, I have just had a positive result f om some medical test”, you know, it doesn’t mat er what the revelation is, there are two ways it can go – either “It’s alright, we are still on the same team and I’ve got your back”, or “We are not on the same side aſt er all” and you went from hoping that you are not alone to a reinforcement that you are alone. And that has certainly been the challenge of late for transmen and -women. Lizet e: T e public awareness has recently shiſt ed – there is greater awareness of transgender life. Victoria: T e only diff erence between now and ten years ago is that the internet and social media – Twit er, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, blogs – have all opened up the possibility for individuals to reveal themselves. It’s simply that the issue is being taken out, brought out, is simply coming out of the shadows… it is just that previously it was a hidden thing that now is being spotlighted. I think, on the whole, it improves things. It can allow one to feel a bit more empowered to express one’s own truth, because one does not feel so solitary – there’re others out there. But that does not mean that everyone will feel that way. T ere will still be people who do not feel empowered, who are still in a fearful place and all this talk, all this social awareness, is increasing their anxiety. But on the whole I think it is a positive thing, an empowering thing. Lizet e: T e increased awareness has also led to what has been described as a “moral panic” (Barker, 2017). T e debate around trans issues has, at times, become so destructive, hurtful and toxic. Do you think this has impacted your life or the lives of others you know? Victoria: For me, it aff ects me in the sense that, from time to time, I fi nd it upset ing but… I have come out of the closet and having stated my position, the only thing [it does] is that it pains me. However, for an individual who has not yet come out, then it may reinforce for them ideas of why they shouldn’t tell a family member or a partner… Lizet e: What ways have you found to get through the times when things pain you? Victoria: I think it has become, for me, a process of simply becoming more thick- skinned and perhaps also the fi rst time when one has a certain experience, there can be trepidation, and once you have had the experience once, then the next time
Context 164, August 2019
“The ‘us’ and ‘them’ situation… it’s been a humanitarian failing since the oldest time”: When one’s very sense of self is a political matter
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76
