Picture 2
therapy, she has shiſt ed to feeling a greater sense of connectivity with the family, as depicted in picture 2. Denise – One young girl who I saw a few years ago is now a young adult of 22 and has moved back to her area of the country. I am no longer her therapist, but she found me on social media. She is, for me, what my work is about: knowing that she felt a sense of ‘belonging’ in one area of her life resulted in her being able to succeed in other areas. Whereas so many have families to turn to in times of diffi culty she did not, and she feels safe and trusting enough that she can contact me as well as staff at the home in which she lived. She is evidence that the ongoing, therapeutic experience can continue once a feeling of ‘belonging’ is established, even when the clients are no longer our clients. Again, like with Leon, I am conscious that responding to calls or messages is not possible for many, but this represents everything successful with the work I undertook all those years ago. T is is a few seconds of an extract from a one minute, 16 second voicemail through Facebook messenger. “…If you could call me, it would be a blessing for me…you’re
like a f iend to me now if you know what I mean... You’ve got a special place in my heart and I value everything you did for me ‘cos you kept me going when I was going through the diffi cult times at the care home… I’ve got a problem going on and I just need that lit le bit of comfort to speak to someone who I know and love…if you can please call me it would be great…” She understands the professional boundary and the realistic
nature of our relationship and is sensible with her communication with me but, at that point of the call though, she was able to trust that she did in fact still have a place she ‘belonged’ when she really needed to and turned to it. My short and simple response was all she required and what I said was of lit le consequence. I responded – that was all that mat ered: she still ’belonged’. Another success I discovered during the call was that, by experiencing ‘belonging’ at that earlier time in her life, she was now able to access other sources and had found a church community in which to begin to feel at home.
‘Belonging’ in other contexts
It is my belief that Dean and Leon will be able to turn to the feelings experienced and use them in other contexts when they
Context 169, June 2020
are older without necessarily needing actually to contact me; they already are showing this in their current actions. It is in the knowledge that they are entitled to ‘belong’ which will be the driving force in enabling further ‘belongings’ in other contexts. T is article is just a snapshot in the role that therapists can play
by at ending to ‘belonging’ between client and therapist; in future articles, I will explore the enabling of the development of ‘belonging’ between family members, ideas around young people in peer groups and thoughts about it in negative groups such as gangs.
References Anthias, F. (2006) Belongings in a globalising and unequal world: Rethinking translocations. In: N. Yuval-Davis, K. Kannabiran & U. Vieten, Situating Contemporary Politics of Belonging. London: Sage. Antonsitch, M. (2010) Searching for belonging – an analytical framework. Geography Compass, 4(6): 644 – 659. Baumeister, R. & M. Leary (1995) The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117: 497-529. Bowlby, J. (1969/1982) Attachment and Loss. New York: Basic Books. Cotterell, J. (1996) Social Networks and Social Infl uences in Adolescence. London: Routledge. Franck Meyer, A. (2016) The Human Need for Belonging. TEDxMinneapolis https://
www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r-ci4iybt8 Halse, C (2018) Theories and theorising of belonging. In: C. Halse Interrogating Belonging for Young People in Schools. London: Palgrave Macmillan. Mee, K. & Wright, S. (2009) Geographies of belonging. Environment and Planning A, 41: 772-79. Wood, N. & Waite, L. (2011) Editorial: Scales of belonging. Emotion, Space and Society, 4(4): 201–202. Wright, S. (2015) More-than-human, emergent belongings: A weak theory approach. Progress in Human Geography, 39(4), 391-411. Youkhana, E. (2015) A conceptual shift in studies of belonging and the politics of belonging. Social Inclusion, 3(4), 10-24. Yuval-Davis, N. (2011) The Politics of Belonging: Intersectional Contestations. London: Sage.
Michelle Newman Brown is a consultant systemic psychotherapist who works with staff , children and their families in residential care and foster agencies around the UK and Ireland. This includes therapy, training and consultations. When Michelle is not working, she is busy planning her next holiday! Email:
nbconsultancy@icloud.com
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Engaging those with complex trauma through ‘belonging’
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