My roots are in the UK, a country that implicitly judges me on my race, skin tone, accent and education, both within my culture of origin and from outside it. Unknowingly, I was more conscious of appearance (Burnham, 2012).


The importance of joining Joining or connecting with others in


my professional life as a therapist or in my personal life, mirror each other. However, when thinking more carefully about participating in the professional context and in speaking with Godwin, many more intrinsic and cultural factors were at play than I had realised – such as working with many more black professional colleagues than I would ordinarily in the UK, and developing meaningful relationships without the barrier of class, status or appearance. By slowing down and thinking about our joining, I was surprised about my nervousness mingled with a pinch of fear at the onset. Our email communication was warm,


and I unconsciously paid attention to the tone of his emails. Godwin’s fluency in English rightly or wrongly comforted me because this was not a barrier, and this made me feel comfortable that I could communicate easily within my selfish comfort zone. I sensed an ease in his emails, which sowed and watered the seeds of our joining before we met. Our journey to Mirembe, Dodoma, was


incredibly long, with connecting flights, airport waiting times, security and more security and then an incredibly long ten-hour drive that felt like fifteen. I was sleep-deprived and too tired to manage my anxiousness. Our first meeting was at a bar after our long journey. I was excited, and I wanted to be professional on meeting my colleagues and representing my trust but, at this moment, it all felt distant. On arrival, we were greeted with hugs and smiles and lots and lots of food. I had found my second wind. I met Godwin, and I remember his brightly coloured shirt and his smile: he told me that his wife had made it and his young daughter had a dress in the same material. I remembered stories of my mum making my clothes when I was a


child and taught to sew. The avocados, the pea stew, the goat, the peppers, the rice were all wonderful. I asked for recipes and about how they made dishes and found commonality in the food from my West Indian and South American heritage. I found out that we had a similar taste in music and another colleague liked British comedy. They drank beer so I drank beer. It was a wonderful evening. The evening came to an end when I began scratching my legs incessantly because I had been bitten multiple times by mosquitoes, old familiar foes. I think I was advised not to scratch by the doctors amongst us, in a familiar casual manner, which reminded me of family holidays to the West Indies where the same message was said to me in the same manner. I felt a sense of coming home. It was a


familiar environment of meeting friends and getting to know one another and catching up over food and drinks. The difference was that this occasion was meeting new colleagues and beginning to understand the customs alongside the familiarity of sameness; different from childhood holidays meeting new cousins, falling out and making up with cousins and wishing to go home. Our non-verbal communication was a language on its own, rooted in food stories and coming together socially. Similar in many ways to when I work with black Caribbean families who tell me they feel comforted by having a black therapist who understands our culture. Of course, there are many similarities and differences cross culturally within West Indian cultures: competition in our food; which island makes the best rice and peas and so on. However, my understanding of what was meant is, I have an understanding of the values of our culture and as a black therapist I hold this within a ‘knowing/not-knowing frame’, which allows me to step in and out of the professional and cultural invitation of joining with families from non-white cultural backgrounds and race.


Starting conversations


In the UK within the NHS, there is a hierarchical system whereby medical or


psychiatric doctors are at the top of the hierarchy. My role as a family therapist is an allied professional and within this context has its own bureaucracy as a graded professional. My background is in social work, and I had had several managerial jobs before I retrained to become a family therapist. I had worked across health and social care for over fi fteen years. My experiences of working with doctors or other professionals were of each of us drawing on our expertise and legal frameworks to make diffi cult decisions in the best interests of patients. I was curious about how I might be positioned as a black woman professional working with leadership that is predominately male- dominated. How would both women and men see me? If our fi rst night of joining was anything to go by, I expected it to be a cinch. With a good night’s sleep, a cold shower and 30-degree heat, I was ready to begin my work. Godwin helped me arrange one-to-one meetings with the leadership team. I was unsure of what colleagues who I had not met the night before would think of me. Knowing I was going to engage with them regarding their development in their leadership roles, I wanted us to be able to join in a way that would facilitate my time with them to be as productive as possible. I thought the best way to open would


be to ask them what they wanted to know about me, to foreground my openness. They all asked me similar questions: Was I married? Where did I come from? And what education did I have? I am a fi rst generation black British woman of West Indian and South American heritage, born to immigrant parents. I was curious about their interest in my education. Education is imbued in us from a very early age and is seen as the gateway to good futures. Their interest in my education took me back to parental stories of my early childhood and the value placed on learning. It made me consider how fortunate I am to have so many educational opportunities and options available to me by living in London. However, in talking with Godwin about this article, he made me aware that the questions I was asked were ways in which our colleagues think in Kiswahili but speak in English and was the beginnings


24


Context 169, June 2020


Working together across country lines: Cultural familiarity and unfamiliarity in both professional and personal contexts


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