REAL LIFE: STORM McQUEEN
COACHING When I told those around me that I was about to have some coaching sessions, I was made to feel a little like I had invested in the Emperors New Clothes! Some confused it with counselling, which I’ll openly admit to having at tricky stages in my life like getting though bereavements and divorce, while others made comments along the lines that they felt I was already doing OK. Yet it wasn’t about them, and it wasn’t a cry for help but more that I felt so time poor and I just wanted more fuel in the tank…
Before we even met, Kim at Storm McQueen Coaching emailed me two pie charts to consider:
The Wheel of Work, which was split into segments covering; Recognition/Support, Professional Development, Finances, Career Progression, Work/Life balance, Purpose & Passion, Role & Responsibilities, and Relationships.
The Wheel of Life, which was split into segments labelled; Emotional Wellbeing, Fun & Leisure, Personal Growth, Relationships, Family, Health & Fitness, Money, Personal Growth, and Work/Career.
I was only allowed to choose one wheel to work with, so I chose The Wheel of Life because I own my own companies and so am very much in control of my own career path and remuneration! The Wheel of Life also covered work, but actually deep down I knew I was carrying a lot of “Mum guilt” where I felt that I wasn’t spending the time I wanted with my children who are growing up way too fast!
Before meeting I had instructions to shade each segment according to how content I was in each area. I was astonished to realise that I couldn’t actually shade anything in the Fun & Leisure segment as I honestly felt that every moment of my time was spent “serving” others across the variety of roles I have.
You can actually do the coaching over the phone or Facetime, but I chose to meet with Kim as I prefer to see the person in the flesh, and nobody looks good on Facetime! We worked through my wheel, and discussed why I had shaded the various areas in the way I did. With Kim’s questioning I was able to drill down quickly to those areas in my life which weighed heavily on my shoulders and slowed me down as a person. Some aspects were really toxic, poisoning every step I tried to take forward, and because it had gone on for a long time were now what I accepted as normal. I never felt pressured or judged by Kim, more like I was sat with someone who didn’t have their own agenda – someone who coached me to be my own best friend. Even now, when things get heavy as they do, I ask myself what I would advise my own best friend to do, and things become clearer again.
I was then challenged to make myself a motto, which would be my mantra or something which I could rely upon in those areas of life where I needed to summon up strength, and not regress to my pre-coached self. I got a bit cross with myself at this stage, as I’m an Editor, and I work in Marketing so I should be able to whip up a catchy phrase, but I just couldn’t find the words to cover everything! I settled for a “working title” which covered what I wanted to cover, was very easy to recall when I needed to summon strength or manage an internal or external conflict, but wasn’t as slick as I expected from myself! It has now stuck, but I have drawn on it so many times in the past few months, and I don’t actually say it out loud – just in my head!
We did go through where I wanted to be in six months time, and we did break it down into stepping stones, then we broke those into smaller realistic chunks when I couldn’t manage the big chunks but for me the value of my coaching really was in the stripping back to the fundamentals in the wheel so I could finally see the problems for myself, then the motivation and drive from the motto that really have helped me get my ducks back in line.
Written by Helen McClorry, Editor, Babies on board Magazine. 28
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