WHAT GETS IN THE WAY OF GOOD CONVERSATIONS? Sarah also looked at some of the blockages and issues that might stop people having healthy conversations about difficult themes. These include:
• I don’t have the time • There are some people you can’t talk to
• Nothing will change anyway (ie I would rather not have that conversation)
• Better not rock the boat (expressing a fear of potential fallout from the conversation and even emotional damage)
Sarah said that there could be real systemic challenges and barriers to beginning such a dialogue, and it was important before you began to plan for a difficult conversation to be aware of the “inner game “of conversation, and the blocks and obstacles that might be there. She encouraged attendees
to reflect on the conversations they found challenging – from advocating for yourself, giving challenging feedback to a senior colleague, making your voice heard in meetings, or coaching your team.
NAME IT TO TAME IT – NAME THE BLOCK TO LOOSEN ITS GRIP ON YOU Sarah explained that barriers, both internal and external, can hinder your ability to engage. She discussed the psychological principle of “name it to tame it.” In other words, by naming your fears, they lose some of their grip on you. An example, which Sarah had used herself, was to be open and
say: “I’m feeling really agitated by this conversation”. Whether it is a lack of confidence,
fear of conflict, or time constraints, by naming the issue that holds you back, you can reduce the fear. Sarah also looked at resources you could use to help you succeed in initiating and managing a difficult conversation and explained that although we might not want to engage with tricky issues, managing the fallout in the long run takes more time than leaning in and sorting it out. This might include actually
speaking your opening line out loud, after you have decided what approach you are going to use. It might also be practising a difficult conversation with a friend, or having a personal mantra to encourage yourself when you are nervous. She suggested you “Name it to
claim it” in order to tap into the strength of past successes and your internal and external resources to provide support. “Think about what you can
draw on to get you across the line,” she says. “Having a difficult conversation is a skill that you can learn and practice.” In a session packed with practical
advice, her major takeaways for difficult conversations include taking your seat and being present and not distracted, finding your opening line and practicing it out loud, picking your moment and place, preparing for contingencies and having an affirmation that can take you over the threshold.
WATCH THE
THINK GLOBAL WOMEN VIDEOS
“ A CONVERSATION IS A THRESHOLD YOU CAN CROSS. CONVERSATIONS ARE APERTURES THAT OPEN UP THINGS OR SHUT THEM DOWN IF THEY ARE NOT SUCCESSFUL.”
SARAH ROZENTHULER, THINK GLOBAL WOMEN SPEAKER
Images credit: Relocate Global & Think Global People events
17
2 DAY PROGRAMME Sarah Rozenthuler will be hosting a 2-day programme, ‘Creating Change through Dialogue for Global People‘ on 18 & 19 June in Lamberhurst, Kent.
For more information, please email
office@bridgeworkconsulting.com or call +44 (0)7971 977774.
SARAH ROZENTHULER S
arah Rozenthuler is a Chartered Psychologist, founder of Bridgework
Consulting, author, faculty member of Saïd Business School, University of Oxford and Associate Fellow of British Psychological Society. Through her deep understanding of coaching executives and fostering authentic dialogue, Sarah inspires leaders to collaborate effectively, amplify team potential and drive organisational change with a meaningful purpose. She is author of
three successful books including the latest ‘Now We’re talking: How to discuss what really matters’ and ‘Powered by Purpose: Energising your people to do great work’.
GLOBAL LEADERSHIP
THINK GLOBAL WOMEN
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72 |
Page 73 |
Page 74 |
Page 75 |
Page 76 |
Page 77 |
Page 78 |
Page 79 |
Page 80 |
Page 81 |
Page 82 |
Page 83 |
Page 84 |
Page 85 |
Page 86 |
Page 87 |
Page 88 |
Page 89 |
Page 90 |
Page 91 |
Page 92 |
Page 93 |
Page 94 |
Page 95 |
Page 96 |
Page 97 |
Page 98 |
Page 99 |
Page 100 |
Page 101 |
Page 102 |
Page 103 |
Page 104 |
Page 105 |
Page 106 |
Page 107 |
Page 108 |
Page 109 |
Page 110 |
Page 111 |
Page 112 |
Page 113 |
Page 114 |
Page 115 |
Page 116
