From the Murky Bilge


As twilight approaches, the boat rocks gently on the mooring. We summon the last of our energies. It’s been another hot long day. Where has everyone gone? Am I suddenly alone on this vessel?


This month’s offering comes from IIMS


member Juan Casimiro. The following article was translated from the original by computer.


Is that a rustling I can hear or feel from below? Surely not. Reluctantly we feel as if we are being drawn, down.


Filled with a mixture of trepidation and dread, we slide aside the cover, it screeches as if in protest and peer down into the gloom of the murky bilge. The atmosphere is stale, like it couldn’t support life, with a hint of something not quite alive, or recently was alive, tiggering primordial fears.


There’s nothing else for it. We crawl into the confined space, carefully placing hands and knees, like Indiana Jones on his final adventure. We wish we had some gloves, Indiana had some. The first hint of a spider and that’s it, we’re out of here.


On hands and knees, we shuffle along a slippery beam, sweat running down our faces. The sweat runs off our nose, onto the beam making the already risky balancing act even more treacherous. The light from our flashlight seems unable to penetrate as if suddenly a fog has come down. The light dimly reflects from frames either side of the longitudinal, like Jonah being inside the skeleton of a vast whale, our movement making the shadows dance. Of course, Jonah would not have had concerns of giant spiders.


Gradually through the haze we see the image below, which becomes imprinted onto retina.


We shake our heads in disbelief, trying desperately to comprehend what we see. We clear our eyes of sweat and try to brush tiredness aside. Then, with a final huge effort and working through various flooding scenarios, realisation takes hold, and all thoughts of spiders evaporate.


The following thought comes to mind and was simply impossible to dismiss. The guy who did this, the installer, what was he thinking?


So, this month’s question is this: “WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE INSTALLER’S FATHER”???????


Suggestions for the name of the installer’s father by email to: murkybilge@gmail.com. The person who provides the “best” answer will receive a printed copy of the next edition of the Report Magazine. The winner will be announced in the next edition of the Report.


Any of you who have interesting photographs like the one above please send them to murkybilge@ gmail.com, with an explanation and what should be the light-hearted discussion based on the image. Should they be published you will be accredited.


Congratulations to Ross Keeble, who is the winner from the Murky Bilge feature in the June Report Magazine. He wins a hard copy of this edition of the Report Magazine September. Ross, who is located in the BVI’s, admits he was “kept awake last night” considering the image.


The Report • September 2022 • Issue 101 | 51


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