THE HUMAN ERROR
ATTITUDE
Attitude is everything. Please give me a person with the right attitude that includes the willingness to learn over a person with great technical skills but believes that he or she knows it all and will never make an error. So just what is attitude, where does it come from and what can we do about it? Webster’s dictionary defi nes attitude as, “…a feeling or emotion toward an act or state.” What they are trying to say is that your attitude is NOT based on clear rational thinking but rather on a feeling or emotion that to you, at least, is somehow right. As a child you were born with and develop certain social
skills, some of which will serve you well if you can only still apply them today. They are the “sandbox” rules.
to communicate your feelings. Most young children are very good at that.
to share your toys with others. Not all will do this without coaxing but if left alone they usually will fi nd it more fun to share.
to accept others no matter how diff erent they may be
They don’t see the skin color or diff erence at a young age to forgive, to forget and get on with enjoying life.
Children will fi ght but be back to playing before you can even intervene.
to enjoy life for the moment. They don’t worry about
the future or the past. Thankfully, our attitude changes as we age. Can you
imagine if we had the same attitudes as we did as a teenagers?
Daniel Goleman referred to our mind as having an Intelligence Quotient (IQ) and an Emotional Quotient. (EQ) His book entitled “Emotional Quotient,” while a rather long read, will tell you all about it. I believe the EQ is your attitude and as he says, your success in life is 10% your Aptitude (ability to learn) and 90% your Attitude. He also says and I agree that, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” You control your attitude if you only take the time to realize what it is and how to control it in a positive way. Your attitude (EQ) develops as a child from Early Life Decisions (ELD) made from experiences from which your “EQ” develops “values”. The following are the three major attitude development stages in our young lives. See if you can recall some of yours
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DOMmagazine.com | may 2019
0 to 7 years old = Imprint age where everything is unconditionally accepted as true unless learned otherwise. One’s parents are usually the major infl uence in this time frame. (Santa Claus and Tooth Fairies exist because of this age) Be very careful what you say to a child in this stage, even jokingly, as it can be taken as a truth and aff ect his/her adult life. 8 to 13 years old = Modeling age where we look to model our lives after some person, real or seen on TV. The school and TV are the major infl uence in this age bracket. (Spiderman or a much-loved uncle becomes their hero) 14 to 20 years old = Socialization age where
conforming and being part of a group becomes a major force in one’s life. Peers are the major infl uence during this time of personal development. (But everyone has a ring in their belly button so why can’t I?) It is also known as the “Bulletproof Age” as the person tries to “be their own man” and make their own decisions no matter how foolish they are. Some people take a lot longer to grow out of this age. After about 20 years old, our attitude requires a conscious eff ort to change unless a Signifi cant Emotional Event (SEE) takes place or we make a conscious eff ort to modify it. Signifi cant Emotional Events can alter your EQ for the better or worse. For example, if a close friend was killed by a drunk driver you could develop a strong dislike for anyone who drinks, even if previously you yourself
BY GORDON DUPONT
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