5thCLASS_1_96_jg:Layout 1 5/3/12 17:36 Page 36


And it is always my manners that are the matter. ‘Andrew,’ he says. ‘Don’t put your elbows on the table.’ ‘Don’t talk with your mouth full.’ ‘Don’t lick your fingers.’ ‘Don’t dunk your biscuit in the coffee.’ This is the way he goes on every meal time. He has a thing about flies and a thing about manners. Anyway, to get back to the story. One day Dad is peeling the potatoes for tea. I am looking for my fifty cents that rolled under the table about a week ago. Mum is cutting up the cabbage and talking to Dad. They do not know that I am there. It is a very important meal because Dad’s boss, Mr Spinks, is coming for tea. Dad never stops going on about my manners when someone comes for tea. ‘You should stop picking on Andrew at tea time,’ says Mum. ‘I don’t,’ says Dad. ‘Yes you do,’ says Mum. ‘It’s always “don’t do this, don’t do that.” You’ll give the boy a complex.’ I have never heard of a complex before but I guess that it is something awful like pimples. ‘Tonight,’ says Mum. ‘I want you to go for the whole meal without telling Andrew off once.’ ‘Easy,’ says Dad. ‘Try hard,’ says Mum. ‘Promise me that you won’t get cross with him.’ Dad looks at her for a long time. ‘Okay,’ he says. ‘It’s a deal. I won’t say one thing about his manners. But you’re not allowed to either. What’s good for me is good for you.’ ‘Shake,’ says Mum. They shake hands and laugh. I find the fifty cents and sneak out. I take a walk down the street to spend it before tea. Dad has promised not to tell me off at tea time. I think about how I can make him crack. It should be easy. I will slurp my soup. He hates that. He will tell me off. He might even yell. I just know that he can’t go for the whole meal without going crook. ‘This is going to be fun,’ I say to myself.


3 That night Mum sets the table with the new tablecloth. And the best knives and


forks. And the plates that I am not allowed to touch. She puts out serviettes in little rings. All of this means that it is an important meal. We don’t usually use serviettes. Mr Spinks comes in his best suit. He wears gold glasses and he frowns a lot. I can tell that he doesn’t like children. You can always tell when adults don’t like kids. They smile at you with their lips but not with their eyes. Anyway, we sit down to tea. I put my secret weapon on the floor under the table. I’m


Make a prediction: Do you think the parents will be able to keep their promise? 36


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