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Pg 12 • JANUARY 2020 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. Upbeat Times in Calistoga, CA!


UPBEAT's Yearbook 2020 CELEBRATING OUR OUTSTANDING CONTRIBUTORS


Upbeat Times at Sonoma Outfitters in Santa Rosa, CA!


JOKES & Humor #4


A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advi- sor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.


"No," says the psychic, "in biology class." ~


Luz Mercado, Valerie Doyle & Manuel Flores at Sterling Vineyards in Calistoga at a member appreciation tasting! Great wine, hors d’oeuvres and great friends!~ PAD


If you want a fine, friendly smile: meet Lauren at Sonoma Outfitters in Santa Rosa. They’ve got great warm clothing! ~ Ellie Schmidt, Upbeat Ambassador


You can distinguish be- tween an alligator and a crocodile by paying atten- tion to whether the animal sees you later or after a while. ~


As her gramma frantically waved away a pesky fly with a white dishtowel, the granddaughter observed, "Maybe he thinks you're surrendering." ~


While shampooing her son, 4, the mom noted his hair was growing so fast he'd soon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much." ~


His mom informed Brian that she was going outside to get a little sun. "But Mommy," he gulped, "You already have a little son -- me!" ~


"I give all my dead batteries away - free of charge." ~


Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn't fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.


Pg 12 • JANUARY 2020 • UPBEAT TIMES, INC. I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. ~ Confucius


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