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The Upbeat Outback • Miscellaneous & More! StaR ChartinG H by: Zak Zaikine of Sebastopol, CA. ~ zak.zaikine@gmail.com


i Folks! Spring has Finally


happened on


March 20th, 2019 at 2:58 pm. PST and happy Zodiacal New Year as well! Our first sign Aries is out of the gate. But the ram, usually the act -now- talk- later of the


family doesn’t


seem to be doing his bolt of wild abandon. Funnily, we seem to be moving – not nec- essarily slowly - but deliberately. Many of our near and far planetary


neighbors


are in earth and wa- ter signs as well as Mercury being ret- rograde. This offers fire-sign-intelligence a chance to slow up a little and check his footing. It’s going to be a very inter- esting year. Chinese astrology wise we are in the year of the Brown Pig. Pigs are sensual intelligent beings and contrary to popular belief left to their own devices, are quite cozy, fastid- ious home mak- ers. So, this could mean an experi- ence, collectively, of a returning to some “basic fam- ily values.” Now what


does that


mean? That term is often thrown into the conver-


sation on the tail of a rant of some kind; followed up by a reference to “it’s just common sense”. Elementally


though


I think it is about achieving meaningful connection- tak- ing the TIME to to-and-fro with one another


eventually at some common ground.


Currently speaking this


might mean leaving our cell phones off during dinnertime with or without our family or partners (we will personally


arriving


try to accomplish this.) This may even translate to shutting it off in restaurants or leaving them home one day a week. The pebble drops in the water and spreads out- starting slow from center and picking up


and your slightly low right front tire. Now the reason that I bring


up this analogy is I have an Aries moon and I am also a storyteller. Sometimes it takes me for eeeeevvvvver! to get to


the” point”. In


my ++ years I have comically learned to heed this inner tar- baby - struggle with results that


friends


and family claim is entertaining. But it’s all part of the wild rumpus road, right? Now if you would


like to locate Aries as a house or planet, the internet is such a valued piece


of momentum. Te reason I


choose Siri over Alexa is because she is like


comfort food, like going to


Grandmas house for...


This is particularly tough chewing for the Aries in us all who left dinner a long time ago and is almost through the Netflix movie and answering email. But, as you are reading this in the early part of April, try and keep a bit of patience. This is a difficult task for you (or that aspect of you un- der the influence of this fire sign) There is a nice payout to befall you this month, or it may have happened in the last few days.


Like Brer Rabbit facing that tar baby on a log (a concoc- tion of Brer Fox and Brer Bear to catch up their hot -headed friend.) when it didn’t answer any of the questions that Brer Rabbit was asking provoking him to … completely loose it and “pitch” a fit if you will. Eventually you would be able to free yourself but you ‘ll be a hot tired mess and for what? Point being instead of looking at the tar baby see the tar baby, see your dinner companions


equipment for data like this. You can easily


enter your


DOB, time and location to re- veal where aspects are in your chart and then ask Siri to find you that information. Like a falling star traversing the sky above you at 10 pm at night the information will come to your device.


The reason I choose Siri


over Alexa is because she is like comfort food, like going to Grandmas house for any- thing that she made and the love that she poured into her cooking. It would warm your tummy even before you made it to her home. And that’s fam- ily values. This year the transition to


the lovely Taurus will be a lit- tle less obvious as all of this luxurious slowness is right up their pasture one might say. But it’s always a great pleasure when they arrive, so happy birthday all of you four legged bulls rams and pigs. You make it look so good that this two-legged


might you for a drop and- roll. join April 27, 2019


Association to Raise Money for Bodega Bay Firefighter’s Association!


Bodega Harbour Homeowner’s


Bodega Bay, CA. ~ An ex- hilarating


jazz


by the internationally claimed


vocalist


performance ac-


JACKIE


RYAN and Jazz great, Pianist Larry Vuckovich quartet. HJ Entertainment Group in col- laboration with the Bodega Harbour Homeowner’s Asso- ciation, is pleased to announce two special


performances


by internationally acclaimed vocalist Jackie Ryan and the great Larry Vuckovich at the Bodega Harbour Yacht Club. Jackie Ryan is described as “being one of the most out- standing jazz vocalist of her generation, and quite possibly of all time” by Chris Louden -JAZZ TIMES. Charley Haden described Larry Vuck- ovich as “an original voice on the piano. He plays with a lot of creative depth and feeling”. Net proceeds will be donated to the Bodega Bay Firefigh- ter’s Association. Sunset Performance 5:30pm rmance at 8:00pm – 9:00pm. Seating is limited. Tickets are avail- able


at: www.hjentertain-


mentgroup.com ~ for more information; Hachi Soldis ~ Tel: (415) 829-9518 ~Email: info@hjentertainmentgroup.com


JOKES & Humor #8 ... and a few puns!


A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper. He then proceeded to draw his weapon. ~


Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.


It means a lot. ~


What do you call an imaginary color?


A pigment of your imagination. ~


When does a joke become a Dad joke?


When it becomes fully groan. ~


My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.


I said, “No, wait! I can change.” ~


What do you call a sad strawberry?


A blueberry. ~


There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.


Music comes from an icicle as it melts, to live again as spring water. ~ Henry Williamson


UPBEAT TIMES, INC. • APRIL 2019 • Pg 31


Zak Zaikine


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