IR 32 Don’t Be Afraid of Your Weaknesses
By Dr. Tae Yun Kim, author of SEVEN STEPS TO INNER POWER and CEO of Lighthouse Worldwide Solutions
Most of us try to hide
our weaknesses and emphasize our strengths. Often we do this because we feel like we are living our lives onstage, performing roles like mother, father, bread winner, employee, employer, student, and so on. As we perform, others
constantly evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of our performances and we evaluate ourselves too.We have certain qualities, or “strengths,” that tend to lead us into greater harmony and peace, and we have other qualities, or “weaknesses,” that tend to undermine or sabotage the good we try to do and the full expression of our innate power. Because we have a natural tendency to emphasize our
strengths and gloss over our weaknesses, that is why socialmedia is so popular. People want to be the star of their own movie and display their wonderful abilities and accomplishments, whether it’s showing how well they can play an instrument, discipline their children, train their dogs, or critique the latest political crisis.
When you identify and confront your weaknesses, the truth
is that you have just gained an increment of power because you are taking the first step to rise above that weakness. But you can’t take that step if you won’t admit that you even have a weakness. I believe that life is designed to challenge us by bringing up those weaknesses so that we can look them in the eye and choose to confront and overcome them. Is It A Weakness Or A Fear? Our strengths and our weaknesses are equally important to
us. Both are part of the complete package that is you. There is no shame in having a weakness. All living things have their weak- nesses and their strengths. It’s also important to realize that what we sometimes perceive as a weakness is really a fear to try some- thing because others have convinced us that we are not good at it. Whether we realize it or not, we do have great influence on
the lives of others. Something we say or do can give others a boost or it can clip their wings. We have to make sure we don’t undermine or sabotage others—and make sure we are not allow- ing anyone to do that to us. In other words, in whatever circum- stance we are in, it’s crucial that we surround ourselves with peo- ple who are excited about encouraging us and cheering us on to victory. Be Objective, Not Critical When assessing our strengths and weaknesses, we must be
careful to be objective and not critical. Take a moment now to reflect on your own life as if you were both doctor and patient. Relax, close your eyes, and ask yourself what sort of things in your life right now are causing you to feel unhappy, depressed, stressed, or unsuccessful? Try to identify the real cause of that unhappiness, not the symptoms alone.What mental or emotional “cancer” is holding you back that you may not have wanted to admit to yourself?
The process of taking a hard look at ourselves requires great
energy.Maybe we don’t think we’re up to it or maybe we use the excuse thatwe’ll get to it
later.Yet howmuch energy do you think we expend trying to keep our weaknesses hidden? I promise that you’ll be amazed at the surge of energy and relaxation you will feel when you begin to release your weaknesses. Are the Weaknesses You React to in Others in You? During the process of self-analysis, you may notice that oth-
ers have weaknesses you don’t have. A word of warning: If you find yourself reacting, especially reacting emotionally, to a per- son’s weakness, there is a 99.9 percent chance that you also have that weakness within you. Anger, fear, resentment, laziness, despair, pessimism, self-
ishness, arrogance, revenge, sarcasm, criticism, jealousy, worry—these are only a few of the weak, powerless states of mind to be conquered. You’ll know you’re well on your way to conquering these characteristics when you find yourself reacting with compassion to them in another or in yourself. Compassion also means that we have lost our fear of the weakness, and that is the first step to removing it. The second step to removing a weakness is to replace it with
a quality that negates it, one that is the opposite of the bad quali- ty. By replacing our weaknesses with strengths—replacing anger with love, laziness with action, selfishness with selflessness, and so on—we will have done everything we need to do to conquer these enemies of our well-being. Be aware, too, that sometimes we don’t see our own beauty
and innately good qualities, even though we recognize them in others. That is true because we can only truly recognize the great- ness in others if we have within ourselves that same quality. We see ourselves through other people. They are a mirror, helping us recognize both our weaknesses and our strengths. How will we know when we have eliminated our weakness- es?When we are no longer dominated by them.
Tae Yun Kim, author of SEVEN STEPS TO INNER POWER, is a martial arts great grandmas- ter, author, motivational speaker, and entre- preneur. As head coach, she led the first- ever U.S. womenʼs Tae Kwon Do team to a gold medal at the Pre-World Games in Seoul, helping pave the way for women to compete in martial arts in the Olympics. Dr. Kim went on to found her own school of martial arts, aimed at overcoming limita- tions in every area of life. She is also the founder and CEO of LighthouseWorldwide Solutions, a leading high-tech Silicon
Valley company, and has won many awards for her achievements and humanitarian service. She received an honorary Ph.D. in Business Administration
from Koreaʼs Sook Myung Womenʼs University. In 2017, she won two Stevie Awards forWomen in Business: one for lifetime achievement and the other for best new product. To learn more, visit:
www.taeyunkim.com.
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