gen y
by cutter slagle
THE ART OF HEARTBREAK
Simply put, “heartbreak is a motherfucker,” unfortunately though, I cannot take credit for this expression. While many of us have undoubtedly thought it, even screamed it over bad bar music after downing one too many overpriced vodka martinis, I actually stole this blunt, albeit true, phrase from Pink. The singer originally wanted to give her fifth album this title…Seriously, who could blame her? If last month’s issue was all about love, then
it’s only appropriate for this issue, or more appropriately my column, to be all about love’s counterpart…heartbreak. Many actually say that the opposite of love isn’t hate, or even heartbreak, but indifference. Where is the fun in that? Truth be told, almost everyone has suffered from
the yet-to-be-curable-disease that is a broken heart. So, while the condition cannot be treated, let’s see if it can be avoided. If you think about it, the art of avoiding heart-
break seems rather simple, doesn’t it? Don’t get too involved, don’t get too attached, don’t give out your real name…though long, the list of “do nots” is easy to remember and if you’re good, even easier to practice. Unfortunately, Cupid’s aim can often be better, and just like that—BOOM!—you’re hit with
that pointed, phallus-like arrow, wondering how in the hell you so quickly became the person who has seemingly lost all sense and reason. Don’t beat yourself up, babycakes, it happens to
the best of us. “Love” really is a four-letter word, much like
“shit,” “hell” or “damn.” Once we’ve stepped in shit, I mean love, we’re greeted with that inner dialogue we seldom listen to: “Oh, damn!” Though most of us manage to avoid stepping into that big pile of dog shit when we see it splattered on the street, why can’t love be any different? Much like stepping in dog shit, the all of what seem
to be inevitable possibilities which include being cheated on, lied to, and constantly disappointed, falling in love is high-risk behavior. Though unlike heartbreak unfortunately, dog shit is much easier to avoid (and clean up). Despite a well-practiced list of “do nots,” we’re all human—inevitably most of us humans have one common need—to be loved. This desire is perfectly okay, dare I say even normal? After all, who wants to be alone? Even though the stakes are stacked against love
(thank you Tinder, Grindr, Plenty of Dicks, etc.), we take part in risky behavior, forgoing the “do nots.”
We forget that the world is full of cheaters and liars and allow ourselves to willingly succumb to that gut-wrenching feeling, knowing in the back of our minds that heartbreak is always on the table…while simultaneously praying that it doesn’t happen. Are we masochists? No, I done told you, we
be human! Besides, who wants to live a bubble- wrapped life? In a word, taking risks is important and in more than a word, taking risks keeps us alive. I guess it’s time to offer another point of view,
one that isn’t dripping with cynicism. Truth be told, again, love doesn’t always end in heartbreak. Sure, it can happen, it does happen, and more than what anyone living outside of a Julia Roberts rom-com wants to believe, but that doesn’t mean it will happen. If it does, you live, learn, and try again, just like you didn’t stop trying to ride a bike after the first time you fell off of one, right? Why should a man be any different? You all know exactly what I mean. There is honestly only one thing worse than heartbreak, to not have experienced it at all. Not having experienced the art of heartbreak, means you never experienced the art of falling in love . . . and that’s the real heartbreak in life that should be avoided at all costs.
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RAGE monthly | MARCH 2018
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