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According to Al Capone's business card, what was his trade? ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

A goldfish kept in a dark room will eventually turn white. True or false? ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Which country's flag used to be just a green rectangle? ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

Which planet in the solar system is closest in size to Earth?

What colour is Rupert the Bear's jumper? On which island was Freddy Mercury born?

What colour suit does Clark Kent always wear? What is Britain's most poisonous mushroom?

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯ ✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

a man

walked into a bar...

Got the wife a prosthetic leg for Christmas. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler.

People say money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if

you had enough money, you can have a key made.

To neigh or not to neigh. That is equestrian.

My girlfriend called me apathetic and left! I was just about to run after her and ask 'A pathetic what?' Then I realised I don't care.

Find the answers exclusively online at BLONDE SIZED PINT

Te Lord Rosebery What?

Where? Mosaic Pale Ale Golden Triangle Check out more beer-themed ramblings at /January 2016/ 7

Sometimes writing a beer blog has its downsides. Like when the doctor sends you for liver function tests and your life flashes before your eyes. Other times you'll meet a mate in the afternoon and end up on an impromptu pub crawl where at some point someone will utter the sentence "she had a hamburger in her handbag so they threw her out". Swings and roundabouts.

While drinking beer for a column is a bucket of fun, it tends to make forming sentences a mite tricky. While others might wake up hungover after a night out, trying to decipher the number scrawled on their arm in the hopes of a date, I try to make sense of my drunken notes in the hope of a coherent column. After starting Monday in one pub at 4pm I ended up in Te Rosebury by 8. How did I not know about this pub before?! Traditional outside, sympathetically trendy inside, decent

beer and a chatty barman. Golden Triangle Mosaic Ale was on and is always a safe bet. 3.8% light, refreshing and local (the brewer can be found in Te Plasterers most weekends). As we were the only people in there, the barman played whatever music we wanted. Tis led to a Smiths marathon, which in turn led to the sentence to end all sentences. Apparently Morrissey had held a 'meat free' gig. My drinking companion had become so annoyed by a fellow reveller at said gig, he told security she had contraband on her person and they escorted her out. Which explains why I had scrawled 'hamburger in her handbag' at the end of my notes. My sanity is safe.

Why shouldn't you make fun of a paleontologist?

Because you will get Jurasskicked.

Instead of "the John," I call my toilet "the Jim." That way it sounds

better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning

An Ewok strolls into a bar and says to the

bartender, “I’ll have a whisky and... soda.” The bartender says,

“Sure thing—but why the little pause?” “Dunno,” says the

Ewok, “I’ve had them all my life.”

I swallowed some Tippex last night. I

woke up this morning with a massive correction.

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