 Regression.  Irritability.  Fearful of being alone.  Extreme separation anxi- ety.


 Developmental delays.  Sympathetic toward mother.


Elementary Age  Vacillate between being eager to please and being hostile.


 Verbal about home life.  Developmental delays.  Externalized behavior problems.


 Inadequate social skill de- velopment.


 Gender role modeling cre- ates conflict/confusion.


Preadolescence  Behavior problems be- come more serious.


 Increased internalized be- havior difficulties: depres- sion, isolation, withdrawal.


 Emotional difficulties: shame, fear, confusion, rage.


 Poor social skills.  Developmental delays.  Protection of mother, sees her as "weak".


 Guarded/secretive about family.


Adolescence  Internalized and external- ized behavior problems can become extreme and dangerous: drug/alcohol,


truancy, gangs, sexual act- ing out, pregnancy, run- away, suicidal.


 Dating relationships may reflect violence learned or witnessed in the home.


Working with Children Trust is a major factor


when working with children exposed to domestic violence. Children need a safe place with an adult they can trust to begin healing. When first working with a


child, it is helpful to ask what makes her/him feel comfort- able and uncomfortable with adults.  Listen to children and pro- vide them with space and respect.


 Let children know you care about them, that there are adults interested in their opinions, thoughts and ideas.


 Use books on the subject to help open children up.


 Use art, music, drama, and play to help children ex- press themselves.


 Refer children to profes- sional counselors, as needed.


 Connect children to or- ganizations in the commu- nity that work with youth, as appropriate.


 Help children develop age- appropriate and realistic safety plans.


 Tell them often that some- 24


one cares. Source: acadv.org


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