 Frequently ill.  Poor personal hygiene.  Regression in develop- ment.


 High risk play.  Self abuse


For Parents Giving Children Love and Care Nurturing children from


abusive homes can bring heal- ing to their lives. In giving needed love and care to chil- dren, it is important for a par- ent to reflect these essentials:


Trust and Respect Acknowledge children's right to have their own feelings, friends, activities and opin- ions. Promote independence, allow for privacy and respect their feelings for the other parent. Believe in them.


Provide Emotional Security Talk and act so children feel safe and comfortable express- ing themselves. Be gentle. Be dependable.


Provide Physical Security Provide healthy food, safe shelter and appropriate cloth- ing. Teach personal hygiene and nutrition. Monitor safety. Maintain a family routine. At- tend to wounds.


Provide Discipline Be consistent; ensure that rules are appropriate to age and development of the child.


Be clear about limits and ex- pectations. Use discipline to give instruction, not to punish.


Give Time Participate in your children's lives, in their activities, school, sports, special events, celebra- tions and friends. Include your children in your activities. Re- veal who you are to your chil- dren.


Encourage and Support Be affirming. Encourage chil- dren to follow their interests. Let children disagree with you. Recognize improvement. Teach new skills. Let them make mistakes.


Give Affection Express verbal and physical affection. Be affectionate when your children are physi- cally or emotionally hurt.


Care for Yourself Give yourself personal time. Keep yourself healthy. Main- tain friendships. Accept love.


Safety Is for Children, Too A Child's Own Safety Plan When I get scared I can think about: _________________________ _______________________


When I get scared I can go to: _________________________ _______________________


23


When I am feeling down or afraid I can talk to: _________________________ _______________________


These are the safe exits from my house: _________________________ _______________________


In an emergency I can: _________________________ _______________________


My Important Numbers My phone number:________ The police:_______________


A neighbor, friend or relative's number:_________________


Child Victim/Witness of Do- mestic Violence Age-specific indicators


Infants  Basic need for attachment is disrupted.


 Routines around feeding/ sleeping are disturbed.


 Injuries while "caught in the crossfire.".


 Irritability or inconsolable crying.


 Frequent illness.  Difficulty sleeping.  Diarrhea.  Developmental delays.  Lack of responsiveness.


Preschool  Somatic or psychosomatic complaints.


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