MajorBloodnok, Agony Aunt
masking an experimental breeding programme; or failing that, enforced artificial insemination using crudely sterilised rolled up copies of the Daily Record. As they had practically bunked up together during the Scotish Independence referendum the original plan had been to merge the blue Tory and red Labour lines in order to create a fetching UKIP purple strain. However, as Fluffy Murray has now been excused artificial insemination on compassionate grounds it will now be up to Carmichael and Murray to man up. Frankly, I’ve not much hope for them, but it’s probably the only chance of survival Union-kind has got leſt.
Majorbloodnok@MajorMcBloodnok Dear MajorBloodnok,
What with all these storms and floods in the news I was wondering what the long term political ramifications of these might be.
Noah_Me_Noah_You Dear Noah,
The flooding in Scotland will have severe political consequences. Not only will the prioritisation, design and funding of flood prevention schemes be put under the microscope, but it is likely to result in far reaching changes to our very political structures. The main reason for this is that in order to preserve the increasingly rare phenomenon of Unionist MPs in Scotland from catastrophic inundation, the UK Government intends that the remaining specimens be herded on to a hastily constructed ark (HMS Rainbow Worrier) and launched down the Nith. Whilst afloat in HMS Ship-of-Fools and as the flood waters rise, they will be forced into a rigorous progamme of deck quoits and calisthenics,
Dear MajorBloodnok,
I saw recently that mild manned Cabinet Secretary for Finance, John Swinney, appeared to lose his temper in response to some questions about flood funding from a Labour MSP. Is this normal?
Thats_U_Telt Dear Telt, Lurking within every reasonable, rational, calm and courteous
Personal astrologer to the
Tunnock’s has apparently dropped reference to Scotland from its marketing and is now presenting itself as a British product. Abandoning Scotland is a clear indication that we will not remain British for long.
This month I have been pondering how the Referendum for remaining in or leaving the European Union will turn out.
For many the antipathy to the EU is based on the desire to return to the good old days where environmental legislation was ineffective, employers didn’t need to worry about protecting workers and there was no such thing as the human rights act.
From my reading of the signs this seems to be mainly down to an irrational fear of garlic sausage, as is so oſten the case, although if you read them another way it comes down to an entirely rational fear of garlic sausage. But hey, that’s European comestibles for you.
By Mick Foy
94
February 2016
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