TWO FOUNDATIONAL
ELEMENTS Two components of emotional intelligence are critical to these areas of character: self-awareness and self- expression. 1. Self-awareness. Are you aware of what you are thinking and saying at the time you are talking? Do you know if you are being antagonistic, apathetic, or even pre-occupied? Do you pay attention to how your words and your message is received? Is your mind wandering to other activities, or are you fully engaged in this conversation? Is your behavior mirroring the message you are trying to get across?
A separate part of self-awareness that is critical to honesty deals with ‘internal honesty’ – how well do you know your strengths and your vulnerabilities? Do you know what your triggers are – and how you can counter those thoughts? Do you make excuses for your limitations and do they sound like excuses to others? Are you honest about factors infl uencing your decisions? 2. Self-expression. How are you relaying your thoughts and your message? Are you taking into consideration how the other person sees the situation? Are you sarcastic, no-nonsense, compassionate, or indiff erent? Can you express your thoughts and your feelings without malice or judgment? Are your words accurate, or do you generalize? We communicate at both a verbal and non-verbal level, in addition to at an emotional level. If you are unsure how your words
are received, ask someone to provide feedback. Be sure it is someone who will provide honest feedback, not merely tell you what you want to hear. If you do not feel comfortable
asking someone else, even a family member or friend, use your phone to record yourself. As you watch it, you may be overly-critical; however, you have now become aware of how you express your message.
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THEM Honesty and humility are certainly strange bedfellows and odd partners. Using these defi nitions, we can draw both reinforcing and contradicting elements:
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