PER SON AL DEVELOPMENT
Are you one of life’s unsatisfied customers?
A must-read if you feel as though you have missed out somehow. by A.C. Ping
T
ime to fess up – are you one of life’s unsatisfied customers? Ouch! Yes I know, but be honest,
are you disappointed with the hand you’ve been dealt? Feel like you’ve somehow missed out? Been left alone while your friends have hooked up? Haven’t got the job you believe you deserve? Not as rich as you feel you should be? Always seem to attract the wrong type of people into your life? Never seem to get the recognition you want while others seem to have the spotlight follow them? Rest assured you are not alone, the
dissatisfied club is a big one but – and yes this is a big ‘but’ – membership of the club may trap you in a way of being that is not self-serving. Now before you arc up and reply that it’s just a bit of healthy venting, let me share some research
22 MARCH 2017
from the field of neuro-cognitive science. Spiritual teachers like the Buddha told us long ago that “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.” But now we can see what happens inside the brain when we complain. First, we shape ourselves through the process of neuro-plasticity because when synapses fire together a bridge is formed between them and they are brought closer together increasing the likelihood that they will fire together again. Put simply, this means that if you complain about something and nothing is done, you are more likely to complain again – negativity breeds more negativity and eventually traps you in a pessimistic view of life. But wait, there’s more – who you hang
out with also affects your brain through the phenomenon of mirror neurones. Mirror neurones allow us to empathise
with others because, when we see someone else experiencing joy or sorrow, our brains fire the same neurones, allowing us to mirror the feelings they are experiencing. Hence, if we see someone hurt themselves, for example, we literally feel the same pain. This process affects us by rewiring our own brains and influencing our behaviour without our being consciously aware of it. So, if we habitually spend time with people who complain, then guess what – our brains change to reflect this and our behaviour changes as well. But does this mean that, to be happy,
we must stop complaining altogether? The short answer is no. Happy people still complain about things. The difference is in what happens next. Habitually unhappy people complain about things and then wallow in self-
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50 |
Page 51 |
Page 52 |
Page 53 |
Page 54 |
Page 55 |
Page 56 |
Page 57 |
Page 58 |
Page 59 |
Page 60 |
Page 61 |
Page 62 |
Page 63 |
Page 64 |
Page 65 |
Page 66 |
Page 67 |
Page 68 |
Page 69 |
Page 70 |
Page 71 |
Page 72
