SELF AWARENE SS
Great expectations – not!
Once a gauge for how charitably life was treating me, my expectations had become as pointless as my appendix.
by John Ptacek
EXPECTATIONS: A MISSION STATEMENT FOR PSYCHOPATHS We humans are cursed with a bad habit. We deem nearly every thought that puffs from the chimneys of our overheated minds as logical and true, and this leaves us vulnerable to all manner of misery. As children we convince ourselves that monsters live under our beds, for example. I once thought an elderly lady in my neighbourhood chopped up little kids with a butcher knife! As we grow into adulthood, we learn to
separate truth from fiction. A reasonable assumption, don’t you think? But we do no such thing. We adults engage in delusional thinking that makes monsters seem plausible by comparison. How else might one describe the idea that other people should live up to our expectations? Equal parts absurdity and arrogance, it is a mission statement for psychopaths. You know – people like you and me. My life is teeming with examples of such delusional thinking. It’s been one
dashed expectation after another. My girlfriends didn’t understand me. My college professors were unreasonably strict. My friends let me down. My bosses didn’t give me enough credit. My chiropractor didn’t make my back better. My neighbours made too much noise. And my dry cleaners couldn’t iron a shirt to save their lives. I simply wanted others to hold up their
end of the bargain. I expect they deliver. Was this really asking too much? Did civility die and someone forget to tell me about it?
LIFE AS A MARTYR If being delusional wasn’t painful enough, I tried my hand at masochism. I came to rationalise all the psychological suffering I experienced as a result of unmet expectations as a sad fact of life. The rejections, the degradations – all of it. I chalked it up as the price of nobility, refusing to lower my expectations in the face of rampant mediocre human behaviour. I was in pain, but it was a
everywhere, like I had it on a leash – and maybe I did.
disappointment at nearly every turn felt morally superior, but hollow. A grey cloud seemed to follow me
Living in a world where my high standards guaranteed
16 MARCH 2017
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