spotlight
by dr. brian rzepczynski, the gay love coach What makes a healthy and lasting long-term gay relationship successful?
Our society certainly doesn’t make it easy for us to date and mate with all the homophobia and discrimination that exists. Though this is slowly starting to change in many parts of the world, LGBT love continues to be stigmatized. This backdrop of cultural oppression and hatred can put a strain on a gay couple’s budding relationship that many heterosexual pairs may take for granted. As a gay community, we lack adequate and visible positive role models of gay couples that provide hope for lasting relationship success. Growing up with rigid and narrow socialization can create conflict when pairing up two individu- als of the same gender looking for intimacy and emotional connection. We also have our own layers of discrimination and pressure in the gay community, which at times can leave gay couples feeling unsupported and uninspired to achieve relationship longevity in the one place they thought they’d be safe—among their own. While the odds do seem to be stacked against us in the fight for the dream of claiming our rightful partner with the accompanying house, white picket fence and prideful rainbow flag securely attached to the front porch, they don’t have to be obstacles to our success. Having to face so much adversity has actually enabled many of us to be quite resilient in the face of stress and makes us good candidates for partnerships with the right focus and determination. There are many long-term relationships that can vouch for fulfillment of this dream and speak of happiness and bliss in their coupled status.
So, what are the ingredients that make a healthy LGBT relationship?
10 CHARACTERISTICS OF SUCCESSFUL COUPLES: There is no specific blueprint or formula for how to maintain a lasting and successful relationship. One of the beauties of being gay is that we can create our own definitions of what constitutes an ideal relationship for ourselves. We are not hampered by restrictive gender roles and norms like our heterosexual counterparts. Each couple develops their own unique partnership that works for them. That being said, there are some universal qualities that can promote a more solid and functional relationship over the long haul for partners seeking long-term connection and happiness.
36 RAGE monthly | FEBRUARY 2016
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