6 • August 2015 • UPBEAT TIMES The Remote Aspects Of Our Lives by Gabriel A. Fraire ~
gafraire@comcast.net
control. I can’t even sit down in front of the television until I fi nd the control and in our house that can sometimes be an over- whelming challenge. We have found the televi- sion remote in the strangest places, like under the pillow in my daughters’ room, in the dirty clothes hamper, in the garbage can and one time I even found it in the garden. You ex- plain that one. Today, among
Healdsburg, CA. ~ I had a problem the other day. I couldn’t fi nd the remote control to the television, so I had my daughter stand next to the set and act as the remote. That wasn’t so bad. But when she said she had to go potty, I made her get her sister to take her place before I let her leave. I am addicted to the remote
some of our peers it has become very fashionable to bash television. A few of my oldest daugh- ter’s friends don’t have a television, let alone
It was kind of fun watching the little girls play with the re- mote. When my daughter fi rst showed her friend how to use it, the little friend promptly took the control. “Does this control everything?” She asked, as she aimed it at the microwave. I once heard a comedian do a whole routine about how his father had to walk through snow hundreds of miles to get to school, you know, all
the stories about how hard they had it. Then he fi nished by saying, and what is our gen- eration going to tell their kids: “Hey, when I was your age I had to get up from the sofa to change the channel.”
a
remote. One day one of her non- television friends came over. Of course, all she wanted to do was watch television.
~ Gabriel A. Fraire has been a writer more than 40 years. He is also the current Healdsburg Literary Laureate. He can be
reached through his Web site at:
www.gabrielfraire.com
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Verbal Commute ... continued from page 3
JOKES & Humor # 3
people who read the Upbeat Times that we are now interac- tive on line. Which means; you can read the paper and click on articles that go to the websites. You can click on ads the Up- beat Times has designed and go directly to the business of choice to learn more about them. We decided that we would not clutter our website with ads and promotions and con- voluted content because many other sites just have too much to look at. We are keeping it simple, fun and concise and to the point. In the near future you will click on the paper online and can view videos! Overall, I must aways thank our gracious sponsors/adver- tisers, writers and readers for including the Upbeat Times in their lives. It would not be possible with out all of you, and we love you for that! May this issue fi nd you well, positive and refreshed!
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterfl ies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. So, wandering about, he notices a leopard head- ing rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now! Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and imme- diately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the ap- proaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees. “Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close.
That dachshund nearly had me.” Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree fi gures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and fi gured that something must be
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up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.” Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretend- ing he hasn’t seen them yet... and just when they get close enough to hear the dachshund says... “Where’s that darn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.”
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. -Thomas Dewar
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