Out on DVD this month CHAPPIE
Do you remember 1986’s ‘Short Circuit’? You know, where a robot becomes self- aware with hilarious
consequences. Yeah? Do you remember the bit where Salt-N-Peppa show up playing themselves as idiotic gangsters? No? And what about 1987’s ‘Robocop’? You know, where a Detroit cop is transformed into a law-protecting cyborg with violent consequences. Yeah? Do you remember the bit when DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince show up playing themselves as idiotic gangsters? No, me neither. wSo, do you remember 2015’s ‘Chappie’? You know, South African director Neil Blomkamp’s face-slappingly misconceived near-future Sci-Fi in which a Johannesburg robot cop becomes self-aware with utterly unconvincing and piss-poor
July FILM RELEASES
02 July Terminator GenisysWhat do you do when your time travelling cyborg franchise runs out of plot? You simply send one back before the start of the previous movies and hey presto – you’ve got yourself an alternate time line. Tat’s right, Terminator gets a Star Trek style do-over this month. Sarah Connor now looks like Emilia Clarke, Kyle Reese now looks like Jai Courtney, and Arnold Schwarzenegger now looks like an old robot covered in human flesh.
10 July Ted 2 Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane buddy up again, as the baddest bear on the big screen is back. Tis time he’s in existential crisis as, in order to adopt a baby, he has to prove that he’s a real person in court. Sadly no Kunis, but includes Freeman and Neeson. Funny, furry, and full of four letter fucking filth.
20 July Te Beat Beneath My FeetMovie based on the popular TV series. Movie star Vincent Chase and his boys are back, and back in business with… look, if you haven’t seen Entourage (but like witty, well written comedy) then go and watch Entourage, and then go and see this. If you have seen Entourage, then great. Tis starts where the show left off, so you already know what’s going on.
24 July True StoryHilarious comedy starring Jonah Hill and James Franco. A disgraced New York journalist discovers that an accused killer has taken on his identity and forms a bond with the man, who exchanges journalism tips for details of the gruesome murders of… hang on, this doesn’t sound very funny. What do you mean it’s not a comedy? Dark and twisting? But it’s got the fat one and the stoner… Well, if you say so, I’ll start again. Difficult-to-believe, miscast thriller starring… Smiley
JulyDVD RELEASES
06 July Still AliceJulianne Moore’s understated and moving Oscar-winning performance carries this tale of a successful academic’s battle with early onset Alzheimer's disease, and the effect it has on her family. Perhaps a little unadventurously executed for some, but brave, affecting, and worthy nonetheless.
13 July Man Down: Season 2Te absurd goings-on of Greg Davies’s towering man child teacher, and his equally dysfunctional friends and family, is vulgar, stupid, and OTT, but in the best possible way. Old-school situation comedy with enough originality and belly laughs to make it worthy of anyone’s time.
20 JulyTe Tird ManBalalaika music, subterranean chases, and THAT cuckoo clock monologue. Carol Reid’s 1949 masterpiece is a panoply of cinematic touchstones, but it’s Orson Welles’s mercurial Harry Lime that sears this film into your memory. If you haven’t seen it, this bells-and-whistles Blu-ray reissue is a perfect excuse to do so.
27 July A Girl Walks Home Alone At NightEasily the best black-and-white Iranian vampire movie I’ve ever seen. Stylish, beautifully shot, moody, and, believe it or not, genuinely romantic, with a vein of dark humour pulsing beneath its minimalist skin. Jay Freeman
consequences. Yeah? Good. Do you remember the bit where South African rappers Die Antwoord show up playing themselves as idiotic gangsters? Yeah, me too. It’s like they broke onto the set and said “facking hill, Neil, this movie is rhabbish. Wha dhan’t you lit ass play with the fanny rhabut? It’ll be cull.” It wasn’t cool, it was stupid. Unfortunately, Die Antwoord are not
the only problem with ‘Chappie’. Its vintage ideas have been explored before with greater insight, its one- dimensional characters talk like drugged children, and its whole plot is predicated on the assumption that everyone involved is a fucking idiot. Kids movie? Gangster movie? Social
commentary? Te result is a mess of a film that doesn’t know what it wants to be and, much like its subject, clunks from one unlikely situation to the next like a poorly constructed dipshit. Avoid.
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