BERNIE
By Bernie Siegel, MD Do What Will Make You Happy W
hat we have to realize is that love and aggression are nor- mal feelings but when combined they enhance life. What I mean is that unhealthy aggression is revealed every day
in the newspapers. It is sickening to see all the violence and destruc- tive behavior from shooting people to wars between differing na- tions, races and religions. What happens when love is combined with aggression is that the energy goes into constructive and not destructive behavior. That can be sports where opponents knock heads, tackle each
other, bat and kick balls, shoot at targets or throw javelins. It can also be in our work as we hammer, dig up the earth, tear down or build up. Here the energy is being directed in a physical, aggressive man- ner that will enhance the earth by its end result. What good is violence? What has it ever fi xed? Think of what
Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr. were able to do through non- violence, in contrast to how their lives ended. I always remember King’s words, “It’s a good thing Jesus told us to love one another and not like one another because there are some people I can’t like.” I learned what the ultimate solution to the world’s problem is
through a personal incident. I sold a piece of farmland our family owned for generations to a man who was retiring and looking for a change in lifestyle. The summer after he purchased it he showed up at my house with a big metal box. He said, “I was plowing the fi eld and hit something and I dug up this box.
This belongs to you and your family.” He put it down and opened it. It was fi lled with valuable jewelry and gold pieces. I said, “No, you bought the farm. It’s yours.” “I bought the farm but this is not part of the farm. It’s your families’ and not mine.” Well we went on arguing and he walked out without it. Our
confl ict went on for weeks and fi nally I told him we needed to fi nd someone to decide for us. He agreed. We went to a lawyer who told us to just donate it to some charity that we both decided would be appropriate. So we started arguing all over again. I wanted to help children and animals and he wanted to help the homeless and ad- dicts and it got crazy. At this point the lawyer’s secretary came into the conference room we were sitting in.
She said, “Excuse me but may I ask you two a question?”
“Sure,” we both replied. “Do you both have children?” she asked. We both said yes. “Do you have a son?” she asked me. “Yes,” I said. “Do you have a daughter?” she asked the other man. “Yes,” he said. “Then tell them to get married and give them the trea- sure as a wedding gift.” We thanked her and went home and became one family with
nothing to fi ght over. That is what the world needs to understand and accept. When we are one family there is nothing to fi ght over. Let me share one more event that taught me a lot. Many years
ago a childhood friend of mine got into a diffi cult situation due to a gambling addiction. The organized crime group involved had threat- ened to break every bone in his body or worse if he did not pay up.
8 Essential Living Maine ~ July/August 2014
He said when he revealed that he had no funds available he was told that if he married the crime lord’s daughter they would let him off. He said the offer was made because she was an ugly witch.
The problem was that unbeknownst to the underworld characters involved, my friend was already married. He said he felt there was no hope and that his addiction would cost him his life. At this point I volunteered to marry the witch. He argued but I persisted and to make a long story short the marriage was arranged and a few weeks later the witch and I were wed. I did the best I could to put on a pleasant face for the evening but
as it grew late I told my bride I needed to go to our hotel room and get some rest and she agreed to come with me. When we got to the room I went into the bathroom to catch my breath and try to fi gure out how I was going to manage to get through the night, let alone the years that lay ahead of us. After spending as much time as I could in hiding I stepped out of the bathroom to fi nd a beautiful woman sit- ting on the edge of the bed. “Where’s my wife?” “It’s me. Now that you are my husband I can reveal that a spell
was cast upon me. I am a beautiful woman for twelve hours and a witch for twelve hours. Now that you are my husband my schedule is your choice. I can be beautiful during the day and impress the neigh- bors or at night for your pleasure. Tell me what you would prefer.” I knew that there was only one correct answer, “Do what will
make you happy.” “Thank you, you have freed me from the spell. I can be beautiful
twenty-four hours a day now.” The point I am trying to make is that when you have to decide about what to do with your life do what will make you happy. Get out of your head and into your heart. We each have a right to a life of our own and not one that is imposed upon us by others, be they parents or spouses.
For many, Dr. Bernard Siegel—or Bernie, as he prefers to be called—needs no introduction. He has touched many lives all over the Planet. In 1978, he reached a national and then in- ternational audience when he began talking about patient em- powerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. As a physician who has cared for and counseled innumerable people whose mortality has been threatened by illness, Bernie embraces a philosophy of living and dying that stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our Society grapples with today. In May 2011, Bernie was honored by the Watkins Review of London, England, as one of the Top 20 Spiritually Infl uential Living People on the Planet. He continues to break new ground in the fi eld of healing, supporting changes in medical education to “humanize” medical practice. Read Bernie’s regular blog posts on his website where you will also fi nd his books, articles, and CDs:
http://www.berniesiegelmd.com.
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36