Outsmarted JOKES CROSSWORD LOVE RATS & LOVE GODS
HA VE Y O U BEEN
DAVID MOYES HAS PROMISED FANS OF MANCHESTER UNITED THAT THEY WILL BE IN A MAJOR EUROPEAN
COMPETITION NEXT YEAR... EVEN IF HE HAS TO WRITE THE SONG HIMSELF.
"SON, IF YOU PISS REALLY HARD INTO THE BOWL, IT MAKES YOUR WILLY SOUND BIGGER."
"THAT'S GREAT DAD, BUT YOU'VE RUINED MY CORNFLAKES."
JUST PUT SOME TROUSERS ON I
LAST WORE AT A WEDDING IN 2001 AND FOUND A NOKIA 3210 IN THE BACK POCKET.
IT'S STILL GOT 2 BARS OF BATTERY ON IT.
Across
4Lib Dem MP, Lembit got cheeky when he cheated on former lover, Sian Lloyd (4)
6Two-timing Celebrity Big Bro contestant leaves the ladies feeling Blue (3,4)
8Filthy Watts breaks hearts in his Queen Victoria reign? (5,3)
9Bananarama name-checked the Roman goddess of love in their 1986 hit (5)
11 His relationship with Liz Hurley ended after a Divine intervention (4,5)
13 Was Lady Diana on the beer when she had a dalliance with rugby Will? (7)
14 Cyrano 'nose' his love letters will lure the lady, eventually (8)
15 Te other girl's allowed as Tweedy's man gets needy and cheats (4)
16 Latin love figure who draws back his bow (5)
17 Famous sex addict Russell has his own 'variety' of wooing (5)
6/February 2014/
outlineonline.co.uk Down
1It's not unusual for Welsh love god to stray (3,5)
2Monica's dry cleaning Bill goes up after a liaison in the Oval office (7)
3Hugh picks up women faster than breeding rabbits (6)
5Celeb enforced the twilight years of her relationship when she cheated on long-term lover and co-star? (7)
7Greek goddess of love and beauty (9) 10 Does this classic romancer have a ' new home' for his affections? (8)
11 Francois says "au revoir" to his first lady (8)
12 Charlie may be "winning", but his philandering behaviour takes the gleam off his career (5) decide to quit something futile? (5)
THE MEDIA SAY IT'S RIDICULOUS THAT DAVID CAMERON'S BARBER GOT AN MBE.
BUT IMAGINE THE RESTRAINT IT TAKES NOT TO STAB HIM.
I HATE IT WHEN MY SCOUSE GIRLFRIEND GETS CHANGED INTO HER PYJAMAS.
I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S GOING TO BED OR GOING SHOPPING.
WE NEVER HEAR ANYTHING FROM RICK ASTLEY THESE DAYS.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE'S GIVEN US UP, AND LET US DOWN.
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