www.divorcedparents.co.uk 2
Remember that your past is done.
Your past is now done. Running over what has happened over and over and over again will not serve you. I know it may seem that you cannot stop it, which you may not. However, the key is not to stop the thinking but to not get caught up in it. Thoughts of the past are like waves. They come in and out, however, if you decide to splash around in them, indulge in them – the small waves will usually turn into tidal waves of memories.
3
Memories are just that - memories.
Remember that you are not your failed marriage. The breakdown of your relationship bares no reflection on you as a person or your value. You are not your marriage or your relationships. You are you. Sometimes in life things don’t
work out, but you realize that they didn’t because you were supposed to live something better.
4
Remember that your feelings are coming from your thinking. No matter what is going on for you, you are not the problem, your ex is not the problem, and not even your divorce is the problem. I know it may well feel this way – but I promise you they are not. The only problem we ever have when we feel bad, upset or down is that we are feeling our thinking. I have seen some people handle their relationship breakdowns effortlessly, while I have seen others
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struggle year after year, month after month – not being able to let go of the anger or the pain they feel. There is nothing outside of you that can hurt you, your thoughts are what are hurting you . . . The only thing that ever gets in the way of your sense of calmness is your thinking.
5
Remember that you are more than your thoughts. Having coached a great number of people over the years, one of the biggest barriers that I have seen is that they believe they are their thoughts when they definitely are NOT. You are so much more than your thoughts and your body. You are pure energy – a manifestation of consciousness. What you perceive you are – is
only that. Your thoughts will dictate what you see.
If in this instance
what you see is a lonely, unworthy person,
that there is something
wrong with you, or that you are not good with relationships, then that is what you will believe. As you may have found, lots of people will give you lots of advice, but remember this - Your illusory thoughts create your experience in life, which means you don’t have to buy into them.
Marina Pearson is the author of Goodbye Mr Ex and the Founder of Divorceshift an organization that is known for nourishing women’s souls after tragedy, leaving them feeling freed and transformed.
WEBSITE:
www.DivorceShift.com
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