www.divorcedparents.co.uk
Do not let the children see your emotions. Children often feel very loyal to their parents and if they know one or other is upset with the arrangements it will impact on their ability to enjoy the festivities.
3
Is lunch with your ex an option? Everyone knows that Christmas is about spending time with extended family, some of whom you would not have chosen to be round the table with. If you can do it with others, is there any way you and your ex can sit round the table and pull a cracker and give the children a family Christmas? Some people manage to do this immediately, others do not find it possible for many years and the latter sometimes happens once both spouses have new partners.
4
Don’t try and get one up on your ex when it comes to presents. If you do this, then the children will manipulate the situation as they get older. If possible the ideal is to consult and buy something jointly. If it is not possible, then no child wants two identical bikes, even if they are kept at different houses. If you cannot bring yourself to give a joint present, then perhaps think about one person doing the main present one year, and one the next, with the other giving small, perhaps more sentimental, items.
5
others will have very different reasons for being there, and will hopefully provide a distraction.
Do think about yourself. If you are not going to be with the children then make sure you have plans on Christmas Day that will keep you occupied. Some singles groups organise walks and/or lunches out, so that you can meet people, some of whom will be in a similar situation,
6 16 Divorced parents |
www.divorcedparents.co.uk Follow us on Twitter @dpcoaching
Finally, and most importantly, plan the day well in advance. Do not leave it until Christmas Eve to argue about collection or return times. If you are not going to see the children for a longer period over the festivities, think about treating yourself to a few days away, perhaps where there will not be such a focus on Christmas. Remember it is just one day.
7
Kirstie Law is a partner in the family team at Thomson Snell & Passmore
www.ts-p.co.uk. Further articles can be found on her blog
klawfamilylaw.blogspot.com.
PHOTO: LEAH GREGG
Page 1 |
Page 2 |
Page 3 |
Page 4 |
Page 5 |
Page 6 |
Page 7 |
Page 8 |
Page 9 |
Page 10 |
Page 11 |
Page 12 |
Page 13 |
Page 14 |
Page 15 |
Page 16 |
Page 17 |
Page 18 |
Page 19 |
Page 20 |
Page 21 |
Page 22 |
Page 23 |
Page 24 |
Page 25 |
Page 26 |
Page 27 |
Page 28 |
Page 29 |
Page 30 |
Page 31 |
Page 32 |
Page 33 |
Page 34 |
Page 35 |
Page 36 |
Page 37 |
Page 38 |
Page 39 |
Page 40 |
Page 41 |
Page 42 |
Page 43 |
Page 44 |
Page 45 |
Page 46 |
Page 47 |
Page 48 |
Page 49 |
Page 50